


Don't Push It

by niliam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Friends With Benefits, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral, all that other shit, there's emotional stuff too dw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-29
Updated: 2013-06-29
Packaged: 2017-12-16 13:39:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/862653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niliam/pseuds/niliam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry hadn't meant for Liam's jeans to become so damn tight, and Liam definitely hadn't meant to suggest that Harry be the one to fix it, but these things had happened. And now the two of them were suddenly facing a tension they'd never even known existed between them and no matter what they thought of they couldn't find a solution to relieving it. And they were both far too stupid to back out now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Push It

They should have seen it coming, to be honest. But neither of them did. Not until it was too late. No one noticed, not even the other boys, and that scared Harry and Liam more than anything else because it was just so _sudden_. Just the pure fact that this had escalated so quickly within just a few days was absolutely terrifying. 

But now they’re stuck, deep, and even though the thought of going deeper scares the absolute shit out of them, the idea of stopping scares them even more. They’ve become trapped in each other’s orbit; being forced to stay close because they literally gravitate towards each other and either can’t or refuse to break free. 

Whenever Liam is stressed he finds himself stumbling over to Harry, because that’s what he used to do when he was stressed. But now the cause of Liam’s stress is Harry, and every time he goes to that place to cheer himself up he just makes everything a thousand times worse. Harry is the same, too. Whenever Harry is getting annoyed at something stupid he’s seen in an article, or he just needs a general break from everything else, he always comes to Liam. But again, Liam is what Harry now needs a break from, and every time Harry automatically goes to do what will cheer him up most; simply being with Liam, he doesn’t realise until afterwards that he’s just royally screwed himself once again.

The thing that they hate most, however, is that this all came out of a challenge. A stupid, stupid challenge, that either of them could have literally just walked away from, but no, they both were just so damn _stubborn_ and _curious_ and above all just plain _stupid_. 

~

It had been a rough concert that night. It hadn’t been particularly hot or cold, or even too loud or too quiet, just... something had been off for all the boys when they were on stage that night. It happens sometimes, generally once a month when they’re on tour because they just get so overworked that they can’t even find joy in the thing they love doing most. But that’s beside the point. The point is that Zayn was already asleep, and Louis and Niall were both in the showers, and everyone else in their crew just seemed to be missing or off somewhere else. So naturally, Harry and Liam did what they normally do. They gravitated towards each other.

“Liam?” Harry called; stumbling out of the corridor of the tour bus after having just changed and poking his head out in search of his favourite cure. Liam smiled up at him from the couch and threw his phone aside to give Harry his full attention. “You busy?” Harry mumbled. Liam smiled wider:

“Nah, come here.” He breathed. He sat back in his seat and stretched an arm out across the couch to invite Harry to join him. Harry smiled back and stumbled on over to end up collapsing into Liam’s side and resting his head on Liam’s shoulder. Liam was warm. “Hell of a concert tonight, huh?”

“Shh... it’s over now, let’s never speak of it again.” Harry groaned; reaching a finger up and dragging it down over Liam’s lips. Liam laughed.

“Alright, what _do_ you want to talk about then?” He mused. Harry groaned again and twisted around to bury his face into the side of Liam’s neck.

“I don’t know... just, work your magic.” Harry drawled. Liam sighed and rested his head against Harry’s. He wasn’t quite sure what exactly it was that he did that always managed to lift Harry’s spirits, but he figured that maybe now was the time to find out. Liam brought his arm around Harry’s shoulders and started absentmindedly playing with the curls that were in his reach.

“You know what happened to me this morning?” Liam mumbled. Harry lazily shook his head. “When I woke up there was a fan with their face pressed right against the window of my bunk.”

Harry cracked a small smile but couldn’t be bothered with anything else.

“Of course she couldn’t see through the tinted glass though, but I figured I’d take care of her myself.” Liam continued. Harry knew this was about to get better. He could just feel a typical Liam moment approaching. “So I took a photo of her and tweeted it.” Liam went on. Harry smiled slightly wider. “But she didn’t check her phone while she was there, so she didn’t see it.” Liam pouted.

Harry was actually smiling now, teeth and all, because that was just so very Liam, and Liam couldn’t help but blush when he felt Harry smile against his neck. He told himself that it was out of embarrassment. It must have been.

“I wanted to see her face when she saw the tweet.” Liam grumbled when he realised Harry wasn’t going to say anything yet. He could feel Harry’s body shaking now as Harry started to laugh. Maybe this was why Harry loved being around him so much? “Then Preston came and dragged her off and I almost called him to tell him to tell her to check her phone.” He added. Harry was clinging to Liam now; a hand clenched around his jacket as he tried to get a handle on himself, but it was no use. That was just so very, very Liam.

“It... it was a good try, Li...” Harry choked, but it came out more condescending than he had meant it to. Liam furrowed his eyebrows and dropped his arm from Harry’s shoulders to poke him in the side, and Harry hadn’t been expecting it, so when he’d let out a very feminine sounding gasp Liam couldn’t help but do it again. This time Harry jerked upright and let go of Liam’s jacket, but still yelped a little. Liam did it again, but this time Harry decided to fight back. Harry lunged forward and sank his teeth into the side of Liam’s neck and earned a just as feminine sounding gasp from Liam. Liam didn’t know what to respond with. It was always Louis that gave him those stupid love bites. Never Harry.

 _Never_ Harry.

But since Liam didn’t respond, Harry kept going; his teeth nipping and gnawing against Liam’s skin until Liam finally snapped out of it and tried to pull back. But Harry was out for revenge. Harry grabbed Liam’s hip and pinned him down so that he couldn’t pull away, and when he added a bit of tongue he definitely wasn’t expecting Liam to moan from the feeling of it. Harry pulled back straight away; eyes wide, and it took Liam a moment to realise that a moan was in fact not a good noise to be making when Harry’s lips were connected to the side of his neck. Liam flushed bright red. This time he was positive it was out of embarrassment.

“...Oh..?” Harry hummed. “Does Li like it when someone marks them as theirs?”

“Sh-Shut up.” Liam choked. Harry’s eyes had clouded over with that look that he gets sometimes on stage right before he grabs Liam’s junk, and Liam really wasn’t comfortable with the twist that he felt in his stomach when Harry had that look. Harry tightened his grip on Liam’s hip and leant closer again; running his tongue up over that same spot to try and jerk a reaction out of Liam. It worked, but not the way Harry was expecting. Liam moaned again and rolled his head to the side out of reflex. Harry couldn’t resist. He did it again, and again, and again, until he was almost positive that Liam was about to sock him one in the jaw, but he didn’t. He did something much worse.

“Ahh... H-Harry stop it...” Liam croaked. His voice had sunk an octave lower which was apparently something very dangerous for Harry. Harry slowly started to stop teasing Liam and started to actually work on making Liam moan more. His hand let go of Liam’s hip and he ran it over Liam’s stomach; pausing when it got to his other hip and then slowly dragging his hand down over Liam’s thigh to end up resting it on Liam’s knee. He gave it a squeeze and Liam gasped and tried to pull away from Harry but he’d already lost his strength. “Harry I’m not kidding, don’t push it.” Liam pressed. Harry hummed against his neck and actually did stop for a minute to glance up at Liam and smirk back:

“Or what? What are you going to do to me, big boy?” Harry sung. Liam could feel his body getting extremely hot, and if Harry dared to smirk at him like that again while his hands were still on him then Harry was going to really wish he hadn’t.

“Harry.” Liam warned. Liam had this feeling irking him at the back of his mind; urging him to stop protesting and let Harry continue, and that was why he couldn’t move. He was so terrified of that damn feeling. Harry ignored Liam. His lips reconnected with the side of Liam’s neck and he started to slide his hand up the inside of Liam’s leg, and Liam fought with everything he had to finally get his arm to move and to finally grab onto Harry’s wrist and make him stop. But it was too late. Harry’s hand had gotten so high that he’d felt it when the fabric of Liam’s jeans had started to separate from Liam’s leg, because that’s what happens when Liam gets a hard on in tight pants, and when Harry glanced down and saw just this _huge bulge_ in Liam’s jeans his mouth actually dropped open a little.

Liam clenched Harry’s wrist tighter.

“I-I told you to stop...” Liam choked. Harry was speechless. “...shit, Harry...”

Harry finally closed his mouth, but then re-opened it to quick fire back at Liam:

“Wow, I didn’t realise how accurate I was when I called you “big boy”.” He teased. Liam let go of Harry’s wrist and leant forward and buried his face in his hands so that Harry couldn’t see him blush.

This situation was horrible.

“I’ve never gotten a guy hard before, I feel empowered.” Harry added. Liam actually smiled a little behind his hands; thankful that Harry was trying not to highlight what an absolute huge deal this was for the both of them. Harry bit his lip as he watched Liam. He could tell how red he’d gone just from the colour of his ears. He just _couldn’t_ resist:

“You gonna go fix that; knowing that I was the one who got you up in the first place?” Harry smirked. Liam tensed up, and I mean, _completely_ tensed up. There wasn’t a muscle in Liam’s body that wasn’t bulging or flexing at that moment. Which was again, apparently something really dangerous for Harry. Liam mustered up any courage he had left and pulled his hands away from his face to glare back at Harry:

“Maybe I will.” He snapped. Harry’s eyes widened for a second, but then he was quick firing back again:

“Maybe you should let me watch then, so that I know what to do better next time I get you going.” Harry snickered.

"Maybe you should be putting that big mouth of yours to better use right now." Liam sneered back; only realising how heavy his words were after it was too late.

They both kind of just froze up. 

There was a sudden tension in the air that neither of them saw coming, and now that it was there, they couldn’t think of anything they could do to get rid of it. And the more quiet the two of them were, the more it _grew_.

Harry froze, his body having been almost physically shocked by Liam's beyond risky suggestion. Harry didn't answer because Liam didn’t expect him to. Harry knew that Liam had just spat it out when he’d gotten carried away, as Harry had done to entice him into saying it in the first place, but Harry couldn’t help this irking feeling in the back of his mind that was telling him to just go for it. So when Harry realised what this little voice was telling him to do, he just stared back at Liam with a look in his eyes that Liam had never realised how much he'd craved until this very moment. Harry edged closer, only by a few mere centimetres, but it was enough for Liam to notice with every fibre of his being.

Liam swallowed thickly as Harry's hand twitched ever so slightly where it was still resting on the inside of his thigh, and Liam's heart felt like it was about to both stop beating all together and beat itself into a heart attack at the same time. This situation was so foreign, unexplored, and new. And above all, neither he nor Harry had ever taken it this far before. One of them would always put an end to it. But this time it'd escalated; until Liam's words had drifted out of his mouth and had been left hanging in the air as Harry slowly breathed them in. 

Liam clenched a hand around the fabric of his jeans at the side of his thigh where he knew Harry wouldn't take much notice of it. Harry's eyes were now locked onto the now absolutely huge bulge in Liam's lower regions; watching in both terror and wonder as it literally seemed to grow bigger under his gaze. Harry slowly wiped his tongue over his bottom lip then frowned; twisting his eyebrows together almost into a knot like he normally did when he was on the edge of making either a really good, or a catastrophically bad decision. Harry, however, knew that his answer would be both. 

By now Liam's eyes had unfocused; setting themselves firmly on the far wall on the opposite side of the tour bus as he slowly let himself fall back until he was lounging against the couch again. And that's how his eyes stayed, unfocused, as he vaguely registered the sight of Harry's mess of brown curls sinking lower before him until they were completely out of sight. Liam felt Harry's hand fumble with the button and zipper on his jeans before his fingers clumsily dove under the waistline of Liam's boxers and made actual contact with his throbbing cock. Harry pulled Liam's dick out of its confining fabric and again watched in both wonder and terror as it sprung out into full view right before his eyes. Harry then felt Liam's hand weave its way into his hair, and that was all the reassurance that he needed. Harry stuck his tongue out like he normally did when he was about to take a bite of something, but this time after his tongue made contact it was his lips that were encasing Liam instead as he took all of him into his mouth at once, without even bothering to test the water first. 

Liam gasped and clenched his eyes shut; a bolt of fear shooting through him as he realised that this was actually happening. Harry was sucking him off under the table at the front of their tour bus, and instead of doubting whether if this was wrong or whether or not he should stop it, the only clear thought in his mind at that moment was that Harry's tongue wasn't the only thing of Harry's that he wanted to feel around his dick. Harry, having never had done this before, was enjoying exploring the different ways that he could glide over and suck at Liam and manage to earn either a yelp or a whimper with every action. Harry didn't know it, but this was by far the best blow job that Liam had ever received, and it had barely just started. Liam matted his fingers deeper into Harry's hair and forced Harry's head closer; forcing Harry to take Liam's dick right down his throat and let slip a low growl at the forced action. Harry braced himself with his hands against Liam's hips, gripping them tightly in his grasp in case Liam decided to force him to take it deeper again, but he continued with the moaning, having remembered from experience that there was nothing better than the feeling of someone sending vibrations throughout your entire dick at once. 

Liam moaned and wove his other hand into Harry's hair as well; having nothing else decent enough to clench onto nearby. Harry actually found this action enticing, and decided to start taking Liam deeper voluntarily this time. Liam threw his head back and bucked his hips, fucking himself into Harry's mouth at, for Harry, an alarmingly fast pace. Harry somehow got used to the feeling though, and actually helped Liam fuck his mouth by pulling himself closer by the grip that he had on Liam's hips with every thrust. Harry wasn't even attempting to bother with technique anymore. The only thing he was focusing on was the fact that he somehow couldn't quite manage to get Liam in deep enough for his liking, which honestly should have scared him a little, but at that moment it was only fuelling his desire to give Liam the best orgasm of his life. 

Liam knew in his head that he shouldn't be doing such a thing to Harry, but his body had a mind of its own, and the fact that Harry just seemed to _take it_ was sending him over the edge faster than he'd have liked. Harry felt Liam start to quiver inside his mouth and realised that with Liam's hands gripping his head in place, there was no point in trying to pull back. After a few more insanely strong slams into Harry's throat, Liam blew and Harry gagged a little as he tried to swallow all of Liam's load, coughing embarrassingly while Liam's dick was still in his mouth and actually dragging out Liam's orgasm even longer. Eventually Harry and Liam regained control of themselves and they both slowly opened their eyes; Harry embarrassingly watching a string of saliva stay connected to Liam's dick from his lips as he slowly pulled away from it, and Liam's eyes starting to slowly refocus on that far wall once more as a low, choked, groan left his throat.

Harry honestly didn't know what to do next, so he did what he knew wouldn't result in anything bad for the either of them. He got up and left; wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he headed towards the corridor of the tour bus, and out of sight of Liam. Again, Liam barely even registered Harry's movements, as his eyes were still unfocused and he was now desperately trying to compose himself after what was by far the best cock sucking that he'd ever had, and also trying to get his head around the fact that both his best friend and band mate had been the one that’d given it to him. Liam was spent. And Harry was now trembling inside his bunk because he could still feel Liam’s hands around his head and he could still hear the sounds of Liam whimpering for more. 

He was trembling because he _enjoyed_ it. 

And that thought alone was absolutely terrifying.

~

Harry and Liam didn’t see each other again until the next morning when they passed each other in the corridor of the bus. Harry had just finished brushing his teeth and was on his way to go talk to Louis about, well, he didn’t know what about, but if Liam couldn’t make him feel better at that moment then Louis was the one Harry needed to go to. Liam was on his way to breakfast, because he’d overslept after finally managing to get to sleep at some ridiculous hour of the morning because how on _Earth_ could he sleep knowing that Harry was literally a bunk away from his?

As the two passed each other they didn’t say anything, but when their eyes met they’d said it all. 

Liam knew that Harry wasn’t regretting it.

Harry knew that Liam wasn’t through with him yet.

And they both knew that they were both absolutely terrified.

For the next day and a half they’d managed to avoid each other, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable avoidance. It was more like they were just putting something off until either of them was ready. And that night Liam was the one to initiate it this time. Maybe he decided to act because he’d been sleeping all day and wanted something to focus on, or maybe he decided to act because he’d felt the timing was right, or maybe he just needed to do this before he could even think of doing anything else in his life ever again. 

They’d been travelling all day to the next city, so by eleven pm all the boys were out like a light in their bunks.

Except for Harry and Liam.

It was probably just after one am when Harry heard the sound of the curtain to his bunk being drawn back. A only very slightly lit light reflected into his bunk from the corridor and made his eyelids lighten, but before Harry could really focus on anything else a huge body was climbing into his bunk and blocking out most of the light again. When the body stopped moving Harry opened his eyes to see Liam straddling him in his bunk, his hands planted on either side of Harry's pillow and his eyes filled with that same eagerness that Harry had had less than two days ago. Liam stared back at Harry, his eyes boring into Harry's so intensely that Harry could feel his dick quiver inside his track pants just from the anticipation of what was to come. And Harry knew, from that one look, that Liam was going to do everything in his power to make Harry feel as good as he'd made Liam feel the night before last. 

Liam started to draw closer to Harry, and Harry shifted slightly out of awkwardness at the fact that Liam was about to kiss him to try and get him hard, but as Liam kept coming, Harry was actually more than a little disappointed when Liam's lips connected to the side of Harry's neck instead of to his own. Neither the less, Harry welcomed the touch eagerly and his body writhed beneath Liam's as he felt his lips and teeth suck and nip at his skin. The two of them were suddenly blanketed in darkness, and it took Harry more than a second to realise that Liam had pulled the curtain to Harry's bunk across; blocking their what Harry secretly hoped to be an entire night of touching from being seen by the other boys. 

Harry was starting to harden up quickly now, probably because they were sneaking around, or that they were about to do something again just because neither of them was stopping the other, or that Liam was stupidly good with those huge lips of his. Liam's hand came into contact with his hip and slowly began sliding towards Harry's crotch, and Harry was overwhelmed with the need to reach out for Liam. Which he did. And Liam seemed to have no objection to it as Harry's hand gripped the back of his neck and pulled Liam's body closer to his own. Liam slid his hand over Harry's bulge, and before Harry even had time to react to it his dick was being grabbed through the fabric of his trackies; Liam's hand completely wrapping around it and squeezing it tight with an amount of pressure that Harry found to be more than a little satisfying. 

Harry gasped and bit down hard on his bottom lip, but was silently praying that Liam hadn’t noticed him do it. Liam's hand started to grope Harry through his trackies, his fingers and palm kneading away at Harry's cock until Liam was satisfied that Harry was hard enough for his liking. Liam pulled both his lips away from Harry's neck and his hand away from Harry's dick and shifted in Harry's bunk until he was kneeling above his best friend. Harry could barely make out Liam's figure as his eyes were still adjusting to the darkness, but he could definitely make out the look of hunger on Liam's face as he admired how hard Harry had become from his touch. Liam hooked his fingers under the waistband of Harry's trackies and slowly pulled them down, the hungry look in his eyes only growing when he saw Harry's throbbing erection.

Liam was surprisingly okay with all of this. He'd thought that he might have had second thoughts once he'd gotten to this point, but as he realised that Harry was literally just lying there, waiting for his touch to give him the desperate release that he knew he wanted, Liam found himself wanting to do this more and more, as in again, at a later date, where he could make Harry scream for him as much as he wanted. Harry, on the other hand, was unsure. However, he wasn't unsure of what was about to happen, he was unsure of how to go about it. Harry knew that with the other boys sleeping literally all around them that he'd have to be quiet, but he was more than positive that if he were to glance down and catch a glimpse of Liam with his eyes closed and lips around his cock that he wouldn't be able to help himself. So what did Harry do? He sat up for a moment to grab Liam's attention, which was firmly focused on his aching dick.

"...take your shirt off." Harry murmured, his voice coming out more hoarse than he'd have liked. Liam looked up at Harry with a wild look in his eyes, which made Harry want to suck Liam off for his own benefit once again then and there, but he didn't. He knew that Liam just wanted to pay Harry back, return the favour. Harry realised that Liam was still looking at him with wild eyes and he actually had to force himself to get his next words out:

"I need you to tie it around my mouth, so that we don't get caught." Harry elaborated. Liam's eyes widened and he bit down on his bottom lip, hard, trying to suffocate a low growl from escaping his lips at the thought of Harry being gagged by his own shirt. Just the idea alone had Liam's own dick twitching; his body more turned on than he'd like at the idea of Harry allowing Liam to do whatever he wanted with him. Also, the fact that this was the first time that either of them had said anything _during_ either of their sessions, and that Harry had to have said _that_ of all things, made Liam just so much more aware that this was _Harry_ that he was doing this with. 

With all that in mind, Liam obeyed; sitting slightly more upright and ripping his shirt from over his head and creeping forward towards Harry's now more than eager eyes. Harry opened his mouth, a gesture which again started to drive Liam to become hard himself, and Liam leant over Harry to gag him with his shirt and tie it in a knot behind Harry's head. The two of them both assumed their previous positions, this time with Harry at an uncomfortable state of hardness. 

Liam noticed how much Harry was suffering, and didn't waste a second in leaning in close, dipping his head, and running his tongue all the way up the side of Harry's shaft. Harry clenched his eyes shut and fisted his blanket, and Liam took that as a sign of encouragement and proceeded to lick Harry's dick all over until it was quivering and Harry was writhing beneath him once again and begging for more. Liam, unsure of how much of Harry he'd be able to take in at once, grabbed Harry's base firmly in his hand and began slowly swivelling his tongue around Harry's tip, causing Harry to let loose a muffled moan and buck his hips in a desperate attempt to get Liam to stop teasing. Liam finally took Harry's dick into his mouth and began sucking, hard, and Harry lost all feeling in his legs as Liam began to take him in deeper. Liam himself was in too much discomfort though, so he decided on removing his hand from Harry's dick and slipping it into his boxers to start pumping his own. Harry noticed and wanted to tell Liam to shove his cock into his own mouth again, but he was literally tongue tied. 

Liam started bobbing his head up and down on Harry's dick at a pace that Harry found to be mind blowing; making Harry forget all about Liam's situation and struggle to keep himself composed with his own. Harry let loose another muffled moan, but the sound of it only made Liam distracted and not pay attention to what he was doing, causing his mouth to slip around Harry's cock and accidentally take Harry in as far down Liam's throat as he could go. Liam yelped in surprise and Harry bucked his hips upward, fucking himself right into Liam's throat once again. Now that Harry was in so deep, Liam didn't want to take him out in case he gagged and made a fool of himself, so instead he began sliding Harry in and out of him until Harry was letting muffled moans slip with every thrust. And that’s when it actually became real for Liam, because when Harry’s huge yet familiar hands wove themselves into his hair and started to tug on it, that irking feeling that had been guiding Liam through all of this so far skyrocketed. 

Liam wrapped his hands around Harry’s thighs and lifted them up; wedging himself between them and never breaking his lips away from Harry’s cock, and the fact that they were actually trying a position of some sort made Harry arch his back off of the bed and clench his eyes shut. Liam wanted to make this better, to make Harry writhe and twist beneath him so much that he bit holes into his shirt, but because they had to be quiet he was limited. Liam started deep-throating Harry as much as possible; trying to push Harry as close to the edge as he could without letting him go over, and Harry almost did. He was borderline delirious with pleasure at this point, because he was gagged and being held down with Liam in between his legs and his cock was literally being worshipped at that point, and it was all way too much for Harry. 

He tightened his grip on Liam’s hair to encourage him to finish it and Liam did. Liam started to suck Harry so hard that Harry was seeing stars within seconds, and when Harry’s body started to tighten up, Liam somehow made the feeling even stronger by adding his tongue and then it was over. Completely over. Because Harry had felt so fucking good that he’d actually passed out from the intensity and Liam was left smiling to himself in the dark as he wiped off Harry’s cum from his cheek and licked his hand clean. Liam however hadn’t finished himself off yet, but even though it felt so wrong to do it over Harry while he was out, Liam couldn’t wait the agonisingly long fifteen seconds it’d take for him to tip toe back to his own bunk and finish himself off there. So he stayed. But he clenched his eyes shut so that it wasn’t so weird and began to pump himself until he too was seeing stars. 

When Harry came to at around lunchtime the next day, Liam’s shirt was no longer around his mouth, his trackies had been rolled back up for him, and his blankets had been pulled up to his chin to keep him warm. Harry actually blushed to himself, and not because of Liam’s little gestures to make sure that he was all taken care of, and not because of that stupidly good night he’d just had, or that he’d actually _passed out_ from a blow job, but because his bunk smelt like Liam, and that made him a lot happier than it should have.

 

That afternoon when the boys were lounging around on the couch on the bus, Harry stumbled in after having showered and eaten and all that and even though he was awake he kind of wasn’t. He was in just such a good mood from last night that he was on cloud nine, and seeing Liam not avoiding his gaze when they saw each other this time triggered it. That gravitation. Liam shifted in his seat and rested his arm out along the back of the couch again. Harry trudged forward until he collapsed into Liam’s side and rested his head on Liam’s shoulder. And Liam did what was probably his stupidest move yet and breathed Harry in. And Harry noticed. 

“You two have been sleeping more than living the past two days.” Louis pointed out; nodding in their general direction. Harry shrugged. He didn’t care about anything right now.

“Sleep is good.” Zayn interjected. Niall nodded in agreement. The two of them had been trying to gang up on Louis ever since he’d forced them to say what they liked about each other most on stage, because Louis hadn’t accepted their fake answers until they finally said something embarrassing about each other. Louis narrowed his eyes at everyone.

“Aghhh, I’m stuck on a bus with the dullest people on the planet!” Louis groaned; dramatically throwing himself sideways across Zayn’s lap with a loud thump. Zayn winced. “Dull! Dull! Dull!” He whined. Niall threw a pillow at him. 

“We’re not dull, you’re just irritating.” Niall spat. Zayn snickered. Louis elbowed Zayn in the side. Liam rolled his eyes at all of them.

“You’re all irritating, to be completely honest.” Liam groaned. Harry was kind of startled by that, since he himself was in such a great mood and all things considering, he’d thought Liam would have been too. Apparently not. The other three all directed their attention straight to Liam:

“Someone needs to get laid.” Louis snickered. Zayn nodded. Niall started poking the inside of his cheek with his tounge as a dirty gesture. Harry buried his face into Liam’s shoulder so that nobody would see him blush at that, because that’s probably what Liam saw when Harry was sucking him off right where they were sitting two days ago. Louis was however too sharp for Harry.

“Looks like Harry needs to get laid too if he’s blushing just because of Niall doing that.” Louis helpfully commented. Harry nuzzled further into Liam, still not quite awake because of his euphoria, and Liam had to bite down hard on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from reacting to Harry doing such a risky thing. Liam wasn’t coping well at all with the fact that he’d gone completely primal on Harry last night, because he didn’t think he’d ever get urges to make someone scream as much as he’d wanted to make Harry. It terrified him that he’d let it get that out of hand. He felt all slutty and dirty and he didn’t know why.

“Maybe Niall should take a break from shagging his hand and lend it to you guys instead.” Louis added. Everyone apart from Louis made a face and looked away from him. “What? None of you are taken, live a little.”

“I’m going to pretend that didn’t just happen.” Niall gritted; purposely facing his entire body away from Louis and shifting his attention to Liam. “Seriously though, what’s up with you?”

Liam shrugged, and Harry finally started to properly wake up. Harry felt his body just kind of shut down when he realised he was leaning into Liam again. He wanted to run away and snuggle closer at the same time. He chose neither. He just sat there; frozen. Because doing mouth stuff in secret was something that probably shouldn’t be followed by cuddling. But like everything that seemed to be happening with Liam, Harry couldn’t back out now. He had to play it off.

“Leave him alone, Ni. He’s probably just mad that someone ripped a hole in his favourite shirt.” Zayn sighed. Harry tensed up at that.

“Liam doesn’t have a favourite shirt?” Harry asked; it accidentally coming out as a question more than a statement. Zayn shook his head.

“The one he was wearing yesterday, I caught him throwing it out this morning.” Zayn clarified. Harry suddenly remembered the wild eyes Liam had been looking back at him with last night and he shuddered. He told himself it was a bad shudder but who was he kidding. Those eyes had gotten him hard more than anything else last night.

“Ah, sorry... about your shirt...” Harry choked. He’d obviously completely forgotten their unspoken “never mention this thing ever at all” rule and also the “don’t provoke Louis” rule.

“Ah! He did it! But what did he do?!” Louis practically yelled. Liam bit down hard on the inside of his cheek again at the memory of Harry opening his mouth for him last night. 

Before anyone could protest Louis had jumped to his feet and was racing towards the bin to retrieve the shirt. Liam felt the colour drain from his face. That shirt had been chewed right through, and anyone would be able to tell that the second they saw it. Luckily for Liam that for the first time in a week that he was touching Harry, his blood wasn’t focused elsewhere. He managed to cover Harry’s comment up just in time:

“Harry didn’t do anything, I was training with it this morning and I accidentally bit into it.” Liam groaned. Louis had reached the trash by now and was fishing the shirt out and holding it up for the world to see. Harry wanted to die of embarrassment then and there.

What on Earth did Liam think of him for asking him to gag him in the first place? 

“How the hell did you manage _that_?” Louis puzzled. Liam rolled his eyes.

“I was holding it in my mouth for a moment after changing and forgot to take it out before I started chin ups.” Liam lied. Vague. Very vague. But Louis had no reason to suspect something else. Louis shrugged and chucked it back into the trash:

“Again, dull!” He whined. “Aghhh! I’m going to go kick a ball around out front, anyone coming?”

Both Zayn and Niall got to their feet but Liam stayed, and Harry was becoming more awake now by the second. After another minute or so of useless banter the other boys were gone and Harry and Liam were alone and Liam’s stomach was twisting so much he thought it was going to burst and Harry’s body still wasn’t moving and they were both just kind of _there_. Until Liam spoke up:

“...don’t worry about the shirt.” He mumbled. Just the pure fact that he’d broken the silence had startled Harry and made him jump. Which made Liam jump. Which made their eyes meet for the second time that day and then it was triggered again. That gravitation. But this was the worst one yet.

For Harry, Liam was warm and his eyes were wide and he couldn’t quite figure out what he wanted at that moment but he knew that leaning closer would just somehow fix it.

For Liam, Harry was just this thing that he couldn’t escape and no matter how much his mind and body were screaming at him to stop moving it just wasn’t happening.

Just like planets in orbit their heads tilted in opposite directions, their eyes both drifted shut, their breathing stopped, and then their lips had met, and just like that Liam didn’t feel dirty anymore and Harry was finding the strength to move and everything that had happened up until then just seemed to kind of smooth over.

They’d sunken deeper. But now they were too afraid to stop whatever this was more than anything else.

It was sweet and warm and soft and everything they didn’t expect to be happening at that moment and that just made it so much better. They weren’t confused or uncertain or terrified they were just plain Liam and Harry. Liam being so very Liam and trying to take the lead and failing and Harry failing to hide his cheeky grin like always as he gained the confidence to push on. They kissed again. And again. And again. And when they finally stopped they just kind of stared at each other’s lips until they got pulled in again.

~

After that it was weeks until anything else happened between them. After that they’d kind of just reverted back to how they were before that first night on the tour bus couch, yet everything was completely different now.

Harry had started to notice stupid things about Liam that no one should ever bother to notice. Like how Liam always runs a hand through the left side of his hair instead of the right, or how Liam sometimes smiles as he watches the fans out of his bunk window when he wakes up, or how Liam would only stretch after he’d sat down at the breakfast table every morning. Harry saw no point in any of it, yet he was absolutely hypnotised by it neither the less.

Liam however had noticed other things about Harry. Like how Harry always smiled just that little bit brighter whenever he heard Zayn hit a new high note, or how Harry most of the time only laughed himself into hysterics when it was Louis who had said something ridiculous, or how Harry always stayed with Niall until he’d finished eating his extra two or three servings of whatever it is he’d stolen.

Harry was captivated.

Liam was jealous.

And they were both obsessed. 

So Harry of course found it strange that Liam started sitting next to him more on stage, on the bus, at the table, in the car, whenever the others were around. And of course Liam found it strange that Harry seemed less focused on the other boys than normal and more on him.

So of course when Liam over heard that Louis wanted to bunk with someone tonight because he was feeling lonely, he’d gravitated towards Harry.

So when Harry pulled back the curtain to his bunk that night and found Liam already settled in and on Twitter on his phone, he knew that something was different. Like that first night on the tour bus couch. And because it was like always when it came to Liam, Harry couldn’t get himself out of it. 

Liam glanced up at Harry when he drew back the curtain and locked his phone to give Harry his full attention. This was too familiar.

“Room for one more tonight?” Liam asked. Harry looked Liam over in his bed and bit his lip.

“I guess.” Harry mumbled back; climbing in next to Liam and finding himself annoyed already by the cool draft of air that was blowing in on him from the corridor. He wanted to be under covers which were too small to fit two people. But he couldn’t back out. When he settled in next to Liam and jerked the curtain shut, he was even more irritated that that cool draft was now drifting in under the curtain onto his arm which was now pushed up against the side of the bunk. Then the idiot came back to his senses and realised that he had Liam with him, in the same bed, and that Liam was always so god damn warm.

Liam hadn’t meant to let himself get close enough to Harry physically like this again since they’d kissed. Liam definitely hadn’t meant to. Yet here he was; shoulder to chest, hip to crotch, curls to forehead, and legs slowly becoming so tangled that they’d never undo themselves accidentally. And suddenly everything from so many weeks ago just hit him at once and he was unable to stop himself from reaching out and matting a hand into Harry’s hair and yanking their foreheads together. Harry stared back at Liam with wild eyes, because he was being forceful and he was so close and no matter how hard he had tried to hide it and bury it deep down, that tension had still been hanging in the air around them like never leaving rain clouds ever since he’d first dove his hand into Liam’s jeans beneath that stupid table. 

They were back there. Back in that uncertainty. Back into the depths of each other. Back where nothing around them could save them from drowning in each other until there was only terror remaining. Both the terror of sinking further and of being saved.

Harry thought Liam was going to kiss him but he didn’t. He couldn’t. The weight of everything that had just came crashing back in one huge wave had paralyzed Liam to the core, and Liam was left at Harry’s mercy for the first time since this thing had been born. Liam didn’t have the option of running or going deeper. He only had the option of breathing in whatever Harry gave him. And tonight, Harry gave him intimacy. 

Pure intimacy.

No kissing, no venturing hands or teasing mouths, just intimacy.

Harry turned onto his side as well and slid a hand around Liam’s side and up the back of his shirt to end up clutching Liam so close that they were chest to chest. Harry nuzzled his face closer to Liam’s until their noses were touching and they could feel their breath on each other’s lips. Harry tangled their legs up so much more that even their thighs were wrapped around each other. Harry left no space between them, no room for either of them to sink deeper without the other.

And they sunk again that night.

Almost as much as all that kissing had done so many weeks before.

When Harry woke up again the next morning he wasn’t sure if he was stupidly happy or stupidly terrified that Liam was still there, still wrapped around him, still just as close as he’d been when he’d drifted off. Harry especially didn’t know how he felt about the fact that Liam was now the one clutching him close instead. But neither of them had time to worry about that. Because Louis could be heard landing out of Niall’s bunk and wondering where on Earth Liam was, and then Liam and Harry had torn themselves apart faster than the speed of light.

~

Two days was all it took for everything to accelerate from there. They’d finally, _finally_ , gotten their hands on a hotel, and at the time, getting drunk in the executive bar had seemed like a good idea. Until the next morning where Harry had woken up in Liam’s bed, shirtless, and with love bites all the way down the side of his neck.

The thing is that Liam hadn’t been the one who’d given them to him though. It’d been Louis. And when Louis had came out of the bathroom with Harry slowly trailing behind him Liam had felt his body freeze over at the very sight of those damn love bites. But Harry was of course drunk, and when Harry is drunk he goes to whatever it is that he wants most, which was Liam. Coincidentally though; Liam had done the same thing. And they had literally missed each other by mere seconds as they made their way to each other’s bedrooms and spent the night, unintentionally alone.

However Harry had been woken up in Liam’s bed by the sound of Liam wearily opening his own door and stumbling inside. Liam had dropped his card when he’d seen Harry laying there; slowly sitting up from amongst Liam’s sheets and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Shirtless. He was fucking _shirtless_ for Christ’s sake. And the fact that Harry had been there waiting for him all night had sent Liam over the edge.

Liam slowly padded over to the bed in which Harry was now sitting upright and facing him from; Harry’s fists clenching around the sheets in front of him as he sat there and just waited for Liam to come closer. Which Liam did.

Liam sat down on the edge of the bed and leant towards Harry as he shifted his weight onto his hand that was pressing into the mattress, and all Harry had to do was raise his head from where it had been focused on his fists to meet his lips with Liam’s.

Then they were kissing again. If you’re counting these as times, not individual kisses, then this was technically their second kiss. And it was completely different from their first. It wasn’t sweet or warm or soft yet it was still driving the both of them back into their old selves again. Liam slowly reached a hand up to cup Harry’s face as he failed to nudge Harry’s lips apart and Harry smiled back against Liam’s lips as he took the lead. They somehow orbited around each other until Liam was laying down in Harry’s place and Harry was arching himself over Liam with eagerness he hadn’t felt in almost months. They were making out in Liam’s bed, and neither of them had any intention of stopping. Soon hands were roaming all over each other and everything just happened so fast after that. 

Harry slid Liam’s shirt off over his head and Liam’s fingers hooked themselves into the waistband of Harry’s trackies to pull Harry right on top of him. And everything became a mess. Their bodies were grinding against each other, tongues and lips fighting so desperately for air that they wouldn’t let each other get, and hands clawing at each other as much as possible because Harry was shirtless and Liam was shirtless and they could feel the heat radiating off one another and everything was just so _damn_ messy.

They were both hard and neither of them knew how they were going to deal with that but they both just needed to be closer and that seemed to be the answer, because when Liam’s pants were being tugged off and Harry’s were being ripped to shreds the only thing that fuelled them on even more was the feeling of being skin to skin and then seconds later cock to cock. Harry was now completely on top of Liam and pinning Liam’s hips down into the mattress with both hands, and Liam had his hand around the both of them and was trying his best not to scream at Harry to fuck them together harder. The two of them began to sink deeper again; their bodies writhing and bucking into each other as fast and as hard as they could just to get even a millimetre’s more contact between them and even though it was so intense and overwhelming they didn’t dare stop because they just needed this so fucking _bad_ at that moment. 

Harry had his eyes clenched shut and was chewing on his bottom lip so harshly that he could taste blood but he didn’t care when Liam’s hands were on him like that. Liam was beneath him panting just as hard as he was and Harry could literally feel Liam’s eyes on him as he watched him grind the two of them together harder and it was just so much of everything but he just didn’t care about anything at that moment at all because it just felt so damn good that it wiped his mind completely blank with pleasure. Liam could tell that he’d have absolutely huge hand shaped bruises on his hips tomorrow since Harry was pinning him down with his full weight but he didn’t care either. He didn’t care that if their eyes met this would suddenly become so much more intimate than they’d intended and he didn’t care that this time he thought he might be the one to pass out and he definitely didn’t care that he was going to be staring at Harry for weeks after this because again it just felt so damn mind-blowingly _good_.

When the two of them finally grew close Liam tightened his hand around them both and Harry dropped his body lower; letting his forehead come to rest on Liam’s shoulder as he started to grind their bodies together both as hard and as slowly as possible. Liam was panting into Harry’s ear and he could feel Harry’s hot breath rolling down over his chest and the fact that he could see how much this was getting to Harry up close sent him right over the edge. Harry hit his high seconds after Liam and then the both of them saw white as the sheer pleasure ripped through their bodies in waves until the both of them were drowning in it. When they finally came down Liam let them go and Harry collapsed on top of him, and Liam didn’t know what to do next.

They were just so spent and covered with each other but they still didn’t care. Nothing mattered more at that moment than the fact that they could still be like _this_ and that there wasn’t a single thing awkward about it. It felt right. So god damn right. And Liam found himself smiling at the idea that he didn’t actually have to do anything right now. For once he had an option that he was comfortable with. He wasn’t even sure if Harry was still conscious but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.

They’d sunk again, this time of complete free will, and they’d just lain there together until some stupid outside force knocked on their door and forced them out of each other’s orbit.

~

It was almost two weeks until gravity played its course and drew the two of them together again. Maybe fate wouldn’t have to play a hand in this if the two of them would just _talk_ about this thing they had, but that was borderline impossible because the two of them were the most reasonable in the band, which meant they didn’t think they needed words between each other to help them sort this mess out. Which was kind of true in a weird sense, because they understood the meaning behind everything they did in regards to one another, no matter how subtle their maybe even subconscious meaning was.

They were playing a game of I Never with the other boys when things started to get, well, interesting. 

It was Louis’ turn as they went around the circle, and everyone held their breath because Louis seemed to always know exactly what they didn’t want to reveal in those inescapable nights.

“Um... I’ve never...” Louis started but paused to eye Zayn up and down before continuing. “I’ve never stolen one of Zayn’s cigarettes.”

Niall drank instantly, and everyone laughed apart from Zayn, who seemed genuinely hurt by Niall’s apparent betrayal. Zayn silently vowed revenge as the game went on. It was Liam’s turn now.

“Um... I’ve never broken some sort of car.” Liam mumbled absent minded-ly. Louis drank straight away, and everyone including him laughed. It was Harry’s turn now, and he should have known not to start turning this sexual but that’s what happens _every time_ people play this stupid game anyway so what did it really matter?

“I’ve never screwed around with anyone on a plane.” Harry declared cheerfully. Both Zayn and Louis drank, and the rest of the boys all screwed up their noses because they were always seated together and were praying that whoever they’d done stuff with at least had the decency to force them to screw around in the bathroom and not in their seats. It was Niall’s turn now, and he was determined to see Liam drink.

“I’ve never gotten a tattoo.” Niall sung happily. Everyone but Niall of course drank, and even though it was a cheap shot, Niall got what he wanted. Zayn’s turn now, time for revenge. And he knew exactly what to say to make Niall blush crimson

“I’ve never had a wet dream about one of the boys.” Zayn announced smugly. Harry, Liam, Niall, and Louis all froze up. Zayn seemed genuinely gobsmacked as he watched as his beloved band mates one by one drank and admitted that he in fact was the odd one out. Damn, Zayn would have to wait for his next turn to make Niall squirm then. Sadly, however, Louis was determined to find out who had dreamt about who now. Mainly because he wanted an ego boost, but also because he was just really damn curious now that it was out there.

“I’ve never had a wet dream about Zayn.” Louis announced. He’d been positive that everyone would have drunk. But no one did. So it was stupidly embarrassing and extremely, _extremely_ obvious when he very quietly and slowly raised his own cup to his lips and took a sip. Zayn didn’t know what to do with that information. He completely forgot about getting revenge on Niall. It was Liam’s turn again, and he desperately had to change the focus of Louis’ next question to anything else.

“I’ve never hit on Harry’s mum.” Liam mused. Harry went to punch Liam in the arm, but then switched his target to Niall and then Louis the second he saw them raise their cups. Zayn laughed. Niall’s turn, and again, he took a cheap shot: 

“I’ve never had a sister.” He sung. Everyone rolled their eyes and drank. Zayn’s turn again, and he was still trying to figure out what to do with the information that Louis had had a wet dream about _him_ of all people. He figured now wasn’t the time to press him about it. He should wait until Louis is really drunk for such questions. 

“Ugh, I’ve never gotten caught jerking off.” Zayn mumbled. He knew Niall would drink but Niall wouldn’t be embarrassed about that. Niall, Louis, and Harry all drank. Louis’ turn, and Liam could feel his head start to spin because he was praying Louis had been put off by his last embarrassment of a question, but Liam never had the favour of the gods to begin with: 

“I’ve never had a wet dream about Liam.” Louis smirked. Both Niall and Harry drank, and Liam couldn’t even focus on the fact that Harry was glaring at Niall from across the circle because he was too busy trying to trick his face into not showing how much he was smiling on the inside at that moment. Louis pouted.

“Ohh, someone’s popular.” Zayn sung. Liam made a face, and Louis actually decided to drop that line of questions because if Liam didn’t drink when he asked about himself then he’d feel embarrassed again because he’d be the one nobody wanted. Liam’s turn: 

“I’ve never had a three way.” Liam mumbled. No one drank.

“Well then.” Louis pouted. “Looks like everyone we’ve been with has only gotten it in one direction.” 

Zayn actually threw his drink at Louis because that was just too much of a Louis thing to say. Harry’s turn: 

“I’ve never burnt pancakes.” Harry drawled. Niall frowned and took a sip, and Harry felt a lurch in the back of his throat when Liam laughed at him. Niall’s turn:

“I’ve never...” He mumbled. “Uhh... I’ve never...”

“Nope! Too late! You’re out! Finish your cup and leave the island!” Louis interjected. Apparently this game had a time limit now. Niall rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his glass. Zayn’s turn: 

“I’ve never-“ Zayn realised he’d emptied his drink on Louis already and that he was technically out. He sighed and turned the game over to Louis. Louis wasn’t quite sure what to ask Harry and Liam because he didn’t seem to be on the ball tonight, but he took a swing anyway.

“I’ve never... made out with a guy sober.” He tried. Let’s face it, all the boys had accidentally gotten a little too wasted some nights and they all knew who’d drink to that question if he didn’t add “sober” to the end of it. Liam refused to let his eyes wander to Harry as he raised his cup to his lips, and Harry tried to take a quick swig as if it wasn’t a big deal. To Louis it was.

“Ooooohhh...” Louis hummed. “Not so dull anymore...”

Liam rolled his eyes and took another sip of his drink because hey it was Louis they were talking about and he was going to need to be drunk in order to survive this stupid game. Liam’s turn:

“I’ve never given a lap dance.” Liam sighed. Louis drank straight away, and everyone laughed except Louis because they couldn’t quite picture how that could have possibly went down.

“Oi.” Louis interjected. Harry’s turn:

“I’ve never given someone a serenade.” Harry announced. Liam smiled at that. That was so typically Harry. Liam drank. Now it was Louis’ turn again, and Liam took another drink because it was _Louis_.

“I’ve never jerked a guy off.” Louis tested. Liam very carefully drank and Harry was about to when he realised that he technically hadn’t. Louis dropped his cup, and Niall and Zayn just seemed to freeze mid conversation to stare blankly back at Liam. Harry couldn’t stand that Liam was being stared at like that, so he drank as well, to help shift some of the attention, and regretted it as soon as he did. Now they were both being stared at. It was like they’d both just came out in front of everyone. Luckily, and I mean _luckily_ , Louis was now out of the game, and the game stopped there because playing I Never with two guys is just boring really.

The questions definitely didn’t stop there though.

After the game Niall literally grabbed Liam by the shirt and dragged him into the back of the bus, and Louis and Zayn jumped on Harry at the front with a thousand things ready to be questioned.

“Li... what the hell? Since when..?” Niall choked. Liam was trying to remember how he’d gotten himself into this situation but he couldn’t quite get there because now he actually was quite drunk.

“Agh... a while ago, mate.” Liam sighed. He collapsed against the table and took another sip of his drink. Niall took it out of his hand.

“I-Is this like... something that’s happened more than once..?” Niall pressed. Niall wasn’t judging, he just had to know where on Earth his best friend had gone. It seemed like Liam was suddenly so far away from him. Liam shrugged.

“Just the one time, more or less.” Liam mumbled. 

“What does that mean?” Niall pushed. Liam rolled his eyes and stood up.

“It means I still haven’t dealt with it and I don’t want to right now.” Liam groaned. And that was the end of it. On his side at least. Louis and Zayn were a bit more pushy with Harry:

“Harry, who?” Louis gasped. Zayn leant closer, and so did Louis, and soon Harry was trapped on the couch with two of his best friends on either side of him asking about stuff that he did with a third best friend and he just didn’t know what to say.

“N-No one you guys know.” Harry choked. It was true, technically, because Harry technically hadn’t even jerked a guy off to begin with. Louis leant closer.

“Harry...” He pushed. Harry shrugged and started chewing on his bottom lip. He had to tread carefully. Extremely carefully.

“Mate, just... tell us what happened... if you want to, that is...” Zayn mumbled. It wasn’t that Harry didn’t want to tell them, but he hadn’t even spoken to Liam about anything they’d done, so how could he talk to these two about it?

“I don’t know, things just... escalated...” Harry mumbled. “It’s not like it was planned or anything.”

Louis gave Harry a really uncertain look. He knew Harry wasn’t exactly the type to charge into something like that with a total stranger. But then again he was more worried about the fact that he didn’t _know_ this person. He certainly didn’t trust this person with Harry.

“Are you still... you know... with them or?” Louis pressed softly. Harry started chewing on his lip again because honestly he just didn’t know.

“...I don’t know...” He mumbled. 

“Look, if you don’t want to tell us that’s fine but just say s-“

“I said I don’t know!” Harry snapped. Harry jumped to his feet and ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t mean to get angry with them. “Ah, sorry, it’s just, I’ve had a huge head ache all night...” He defended. “I uh, I’m just gonna go to bed...”

And then Harry was gone; stumbling his way down the corridor and burying himself in his sheets and not emerging until he needed to the next day.

Liam however didn’t get any sleep at all that night.

He was still trying to figure out if Harry had done stuff with a guy that wasn’t him, or if Harry had drunk just so that Liam wouldn’t be made the centre of everyone’s attention.

Liam really, really hoped it wasn’t the first option.

The next day it turned out that Harry actually was sick. And even though Liam was absolutely exhausted he once again got pulled into Harry’s orbit because he was tired and grumpy and Harry was his cure and Harry was sick and grumpy and probably also in need of him and that stupid little factor was all that Liam needed to go out of his way that day and make sure that Harry was his centre of attention.

Harry almost lost his words when Liam pulled back the curtain to his bunk and lightly tapped him on the shoulder to make sure that he was awake. He was. Especially so now that Liam was here.

“I brought you some soup... sit up and eat it all, alright?” Liam smoothed. 

Harry was trying not to blush because he’d just been having a very vivid dream about Liam and now he’d suddenly gone from that Liam to normal Liam and he didn’t know how to take it. It was like they were talking after they did, you know, whatever they now did. 

Harry slowly sat up and took the bowl from Liam, and even though he had absolutely no appetite he drank it all down. When he handed the bowl back to Liam who had been sitting there next to him the entire time watching him eat, Liam smiled back at him and stood up. That’s when Harry’s sickness got the better of him. His fever had him blindly reaching out for what he wanted which was Liam and when his hand clasped itself around Liam’s wrist Liam felt his stomach do that vaguely familiar twist once again. 

“Y-You’re coming back, right?” Harry mumbled. Liam was going to take Harry’s bowl to the sink and leave, but Harry still needed Liam because he wasn’t all better yet, and even after staring at Harry for all that time while he’d eaten Liam didn’t feel better enough yet either, so he caved and nodded back at Harry.

“Of course I am...” Liam breathed. Then Liam disappeared and Harry realised what he’d just done. He’d asked for something from Liam. He hadn’t done that in months. Neither of them had. Not since Liam had accidentally let slip that question that had lead to this thing in the first place. Once again Harry had trapped himself and had no way out.

When Liam came back though the two of them sank deeper again. Because Liam’s hand had somehow found Harry’s and their fingers had intertwined to end up holding onto each other so tightly that they couldn’t focus on anything else. Liam could feel weights being chained to his ankles as he sat there. Those chains were starting to bind him to Harry and make him sink even faster, and that scared Liam more than anything else. But now the surface was so damn far away and it’d take forever to get back to it, if he even managed to reach it at all, so all he could focus on was trying to breathe as Harry dragged him down into the darkness.

As they sat there though Niall happened to catch a glimpse, and he started to piece everything together. He could read Liam more than anyone else. Niall headed straight for Louis and Zayn who were playing soccer outside and dragged them behind the bus:

“Hey, you guys talked to Harry last night, didn’t you?” Niall hushed. Louis frowned.

“Yeah, but he didn’t say much. Why?” Louis sighed. Niall shook his head.

“No, I need to know, what did he say; exactly.” Niall pushed. Louis sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

“He said he didn’t know.” Louis breathed. 

That was all Niall needed to hear, because Liam didn’t know and Harry didn’t know and he was positive that neither of them had had time to even breathe while they were on tour, let alone find a guy of all things that they’d have gotten close enough with. Niall quickly deserted Louis and Zayn and the rest of their crew for the rest of the day to help himself get his head around this, and when he’d came back he’d made the decision to do absolutely nothing unless something was actually needed. As far as Niall knew; nothing was needed. 

Harry and Liam were running their course... he guessed.

Which they were.

Since Harry had been sick, he’d been left alone with his thoughts, which was apparently the most dangerous thing for him yet. Harry didn’t _want_ to think about anything. That irking feeling that had grown since that first night was now a huge part of him, and when he stopped to think, he stopped fighting that huge part, and it grew even stronger as it enveloped everything else in its way. Harry’s obsession was becoming apparent to him. Harry didn’t realise as he sank deeper however though that he wasn’t alone and was in fact higher up than Liam, until three days later when he’d completely recovered and found himself gravitating towards Liam again: 

Harry should have known.

The scene was too familiar.

Harry pulled back the curtain and there Liam was; lying amongst the sheets on Twitter on his phone. When Liam realised Harry was there he threw his phone aside to once again give Harry his full attention, but then it hit him. Harry had come to _his_ bunk, and for once he knew exactly what to expect. The very moment Harry had climbed in and drawn the curtain across he’d met Liam’s lips with his and was fisting a hand around Liam’s shirt to pull his body on top of his own. And Liam kissed back, hard, until that same primal instinct had kicked in from so many weeks back and he was actually taking charge this time. Harry’s body slid under Liam’s and he wove a hand into Liam’s hair so that he could kiss him deeper. 

Liam went for it. He slid his hand down Harry’s side and then back up and back down and then back up until Harry was grabbing the back of his neck and clinging to his shirt and writhing against Liam for more contact. Liam liked a begging Harry more than anything so far, and it triggered his primal instinct to need to make Harry scream for him into over drive again. He wasted no time in sliding his hand down over the steadily growing bulge in Harry’s boxers and kneading away at Harry’s dick; swallowing the moans Harry was letting slip and smiling against his lips. Harry was terrified of that smile. It made his dick twitch in ways Liam’s touch never could, and he probably could have slowed them back down again without hurting anyone, but taking that plunge was just so inevitable at this point that he decided to just give up. At least for tonight. 

Harry smiled back against Liam’s lips and Liam took the chance and slid his hand under the waistband of Harry’s boxers, and when Liam’s hand was finally around Harry’s cock again, Harry felt himself just give in and let himself fall to Liam’s mercy. Liam started to pump Harry painfully slowly and Harry soon figured out that the better he kissed Liam back the faster Liam’s hand would start to move. Liam was forcing Harry to tell him what he wanted without Harry actually having to say anything, and Harry was being driven wild by this kind of Liam. Harry smashed his lips onto Liam’s so damn hard that he was getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen and when he let Liam’s tongue go practically down his throat he couldn’t hold himself together anymore. He clung to Liam and ended up just gasping and panting into Liam’s mouth more than anything because he was just coming so _undone_ beneath him and he couldn’t stop it.

Liam wasn’t quite sure when he’d switched from wanting to get Harry off to wanting to take care of him. Maybe it was when he’d realised how desperate Harry was beneath him as he groaned and twisted more into Liam’s touch to get that desperate release. Maybe it was when he’d realised that Harry couldn’t even kiss him back anymore. And maybe he’d realised because suddenly Harry had become needy and delicate and touchable and Liam just couldn’t bear to let Harry get too overwhelmed again this time. Whatever his reason was, Liam’s strokes up and down Harry’s cock had started to even out into a steady rhythm, his lips had started tenderly yet passionately making their way along Harry’s jaw line and down the side of his neck, and he’d lowered the rest of his upper body over Harry so that he could somehow comfort him with the fact that they were chest to chest and so warm and so close. And Harry let Liam take care of him like that, because maybe that was what’d he’d been unconsciously searching for when he’d stumbled on over here in the first place.

Liam had tightened his grip around Harry now and if Harry wasn’t struggling to breathe he’d have been bucking himself into Liam’s touch as hard as he could, but all Harry could manage to do was cling to Liam and moan and gasp and whimper and cry out and make every other embarrassing noise under the sun and choke it into Liam’s ear. That only encouraged Liam more. He started to add technique; running his thumb over Harry’s tip with every pump and twisting his wrist on every uptake. Harry was becoming weaker by the second, and Liam finally found something about Harry that was stupidly dangerous for him. Liam’s weakness was Harry’s weakness. 

So since Harry now had his hands mattered into Liam’s hair and was staring back at him with hooded eyes and uneven breath and flushed cheeks and was desperately using the zero strength he had to try and hang on to Liam, Liam couldn’t help himself. Liam started avoiding hitting Harry’s good spots and just kind of kept him there waiting to be finished off, and when Harry finally realised he was already so out of it that he just couldn’t be bothered keeping his wall up for a second longer. He needed Liam. So he broke the one unspoken rule they seemed to have between each other and he _spoke_ :

“Lia-ah... m-more...” Harry choked. 

Liam hadn’t been expecting Harry to actually say _anything_ , so when he did it was like a switch had been flipped inside of him, and he realised that maybe this was what he’d actually been aiming for. Liam brought back his magic touch and Harry had just sworn to himself that he wasn’t going to say anything else but then again he wasn’t expecting Liam to start talking _back_. Liam ran his tongue up the side of Harry’s neck and began planting soft kisses all along Harry’s jaw and cheek: 

“Come on Harry...” Liam gasped. He sank his teeth into Harry’s ear and tightened his hand around Harry’s dick. “Come for me.”

Whatever effort Harry had been making to not blush a second ago when he’d begged for more was now for absolutely nothing. He went scarlet. And Liam actually _chuckled_.

“Hmm... I like that face...” He sung. Harry went even redder. Liam’s voice was low and rough and so damn confident and Harry just didn’t know what to do because it was Liam after all and he shouldn’t be saying things to Harry like that in the first place but there couldn’t exist even one alternate reality at that moment where Harry didn’t absolutely love it. Harry clenched his eyes shut and buried his face into the crook of Liam’s neck to hide his blush, and Liam started pumping Harry so damn aggressively that he himself was breathing heavily onto Harry’s neck. Harry forgot about not speaking.

“Shi-... ah Liam, _fuck..._ ” Harry groaned. Liam wove his hand into Harry’s hair and grabbed onto it; forcing Harry to pull back and look him in the eye, and suddenly Liam couldn’t tear his eyes away from Harry’s. That’s when Harry realised that Liam had already sunken down to his level, and that he was still catching up, because that stupid stare had him blushing more than Liam’s touch or words ever would. And then they were kissing again, and Liam did nothing but swallow Harry’s moans and gasps until Harry came all over the two of them and collapsed beneath him, but even then they kept kissing, and kissing, and kissing, until Harry dozed off against Liam’s lips and Liam couldn’t help but smile back. 

The next morning Harry woke up shirtless in Liam’s bunk with Liam’s arms wrapped tightly around his waist and with his hands matted into Liam’s hair; Liam’s face buried into Harry’s shoulder and Harry’s lips to the top of Liam’s head. Liam must’ve stripped him of his dirty shirt in his sleep, and then taken off his own as well. Harry started chewing on his bottom lip.

He couldn’t ignore the fact that he wasn’t just being gotten off by a friend anymore. Now every time he opened his eyes he saw Liam as Liam, not as this guy he just seemed to keep falling into bed with, but actual Liam. When they kissed he realised that ‘this is Liam’s taste’, when they touched he realised that ‘these are Liam’s hands’, and when he felt their bodies push together he realised that ‘this is Liam’s embrace’. Harry was aware of Liam, and he felt so damn awkward that he liked whatever it was that they had more now because of it.

Later that week Harry had pulled Liam aside after a promotion type of thing because Liam had been biting his lip the entire morning and Harry just assumed that he was sexually frustrated and wanted to pay him back for the other night, but before things got heated they were interrupted. 

Harry very reluctantly unwrapped his arms from around Liam’s neck and Liam sadly pulled his arm back from around Harry’s waist that he’d been using to crush their bodies together. The two of them hadn’t even realised how much more intimately they held each other these days, and they were rudely awakened to this fact when a blurry photo was leaked to the media the next day of the two of them:

Harry could be recognised straight away; his arms around some mans neck with a majority of his face having been cut off by the window frame of the room they were in, the picture having been taken from somewhere out in the street or from the building next door even. Liam’s arm could still be seen though around his waist, but thank _god_ his tattoos were hidden because his hand had been up under Harry’s shirt by that point.

Louis was absolutely furious.

~

“Are you going to fucking explain this to me or do I have to just assume that what you do in your life is none of my business anymore?!” Louis screeched. Louis had sneakily hung back while everyone else had gone out and had waited until Harry had stumbled out of the shower to abuse him. “I thought I was your fucking _best friend_ Harry! Is that not the case anymore?!”

Harry hadn’t been coping so well with any of this, and Louis snapping just freaked him out all the more. The boys had taken away his phone and changed his Twitter password on him before his curiosity could get the better of him, and he was glad for it, but Louis’ reaction right now was probably worse than what any of that could have possibly done to him. Louis just looked so damn _hurt_.

“Lou I-“ Harry started but Louis was bursting at the seams and couldn’t even let himself be quiet for two seconds to let Harry speak:

“I’m not going to judge you or anything but _fuck_ you could have just given me a heads up that you were at least seeing someone!” Louis yelled. “And now you’ve gotten yourself into this mess! Do you even have any idea how much I’ve been worrying about you up until now since you told me you’d hooked up with a guy?! And now you’re caught on fucking camera snogging the life out of him! Who the fuck is he?!”

Louis was shaking now, and probably clenching his fists because he was trying not to just collapse into Harry and start slamming his fists into his chest. Harry was speechless. What the hell was he supposed to say to all of that? He couldn’t even admit to himself that the only person he’d been focusing on getting intimate with for the past few months was Liam, how the hell could he tell Louis that?

“Why can’t you just tell me... just tell me _something..._ ” Louis choked. Harry tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it wouldn’t go down.

“Lou I really, _really_ want to tell you but...” Harry started. Louis glanced down at his feet and Harry realised that those were probably the worst words to be saying to Louis right now.

“But you just don’t know, right?” Louis finished for him. That lump got bigger. Before Harry could even start to try to piece a sentence together to recover whatever was left of Louis’ trust Louis was shaking his head and turning to leave; only stopping halfway down the corridor to give Harry a look filled with what Harry assumed was a mixture of betrayal, defeat, and just plain damaged Louis. “...later, Haz.”

Louis walked away extra slowly; probably praying that Harry would shout _something_ out to him, but Harry let him go, because he hadn’t been lying.

He really just didn’t know.

 

The next day the boys had what their management liked to call an ‘emergency’ interview scheduled so that Harry could at least attempt to confront the leaked image, but all Harry had managed to say about the matter was “yes” when the interviewer had asked the boys if they each had someone special. Liam however to everyone’s shock also said “yes”. 

That night Liam had climbed into Harry’s bunk and had wrapped his arms around Harry so tightly that he couldn’t breathe. Liam wanted to shoulder whatever the hell Harry was going through right now because it was his fault but he had no idea how he was supposed to do that. He couldn’t just come out and announce it’d been him; that’d be like they were declaring they were dating to the world, and he knew that neither of them were within what felt like years of being ready for that, if ever.

Harry however still had that lump in his throat from his confrontation with Louis and had zoned out; his eyes fixed on that stupid picture that he’d cut out of a magazine to stare at because he wasn’t being allowed internet access for his own protection. Harry just couldn’t stop staring at it.

It made him and Liam look so... together.

He looked so at home in Liam’s arms. Those arms that were currently around his waist and clutching his back up against Liam’s chest.

It felt wrong.

Harry wasn’t meant to be lazily in bed with Liam when Louis was this cut up about that stupid picture. 

Liam sat up behind Harry and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck to try and get him to relax, but when Harry flinched away Liam started to panic. Liam tried to cup Harry’s face with his hand and touch their lips together but Harry frowned and curled away from Liam; shrugging off his touch and burying himself in his blankets. Harry had never rejected him before. Ever. Liam knew with every bone in his body almost like a physical shock that something was wrong.

“...not tonight, Li.” Harry mumbled towards the wall. Liam felt a stabbing pain in his chest, and it _hurt_. It hurt so fucking _bad_. It made him want to run away and hide and just sit there in the dark and let the weight of everything crush him to death. But he didn’t. Instead he assumed his previous position of lying next to Harry and draped his arm hesitantly over Harry’s waist. Harry noticed straight away that Liam wasn’t holding him anymore. He was just there. He was just too terrified to leave. Too terrified to stay.

They were back there, at that place, where the both of them were just absolutely terrified, but the darkness surrounding them because of how deep they’d already sunken seemed to just crush them in Harry’s bunk, along with that deafening silence. Because even though they were right next to each other they could have been galaxies apart. 

It _hurt_.

 

It was around lunchtime the next day that everything that had happened over the past week actually hit Harry. And it hit him _hard_.

Harry had been off at some place that he didn’t even know the reason for and he was there by himself because he’d managed to get separated from everyone and that’s when it hit him. He thought he’d fallen behind but he wasn’t really sure but either way he’d been split off from the rest of the group and even though Paul had stayed with him he had this stupidly uneasy feeling that something horrible was about to come for him, and it _did_.

“Harry listen to me alright? We’re gonna charge straight through them all okay you can’t stop no matter what alright, it’s absolute madness out there.” Paul cautioned. Harry didn’t look back at him, he was too focused on gaping at the absolute mob of people that had somehow gotten between them and their tour bus. He guessed the boys were already inside.

There must have been at least a hundred people out there; reporters, fans, more reporters, more reporters and more fans, and everything hit Harry the moment he saw them. 

They were all looking at him the same way Louis was, the same way he’d known Liam was last night, the same way all the other boys had been looking at him since that photo was released as well. Well, maybe not the reporters, but definitely every single one of the fans.

They looked betrayed. 

Suddenly Paul was grabbing Harry’s arm and yanking him out into the centre of it and Harry freaked. The questions were only making everything worse.

“How are your parents taking the news of your new found sexuality?”

Oh god, his family.

“Is it Louis?! It was Louis, right?!”

More crap to deal with on Twitter and in interviews about inter-band relationships, great.

“Is your relationship serious?”

Relationship. God damn it what relationship?

“Can you tell us who it was?”

“How long have you been dating?”

“Have you always been gay?”

“Where is he right now?”

“Is he on the bus with everyone else?”

Harry was reminded that last night he hadn’t had his regular dose of Liam, and that was sounding pretty fucking good right now. But Liam wasn’t here. No one was here. He was alone. And he couldn’t breathe.

Literally.

His chest started to tighten up and all the noise and questions being shouted at him became a blur. He was getting dizzy, and he was being dragged along in a crowd full of strangers that were the last thing he needed right now on his way back to a still tense tour bus with an angry Louis and-

Liam.

 _Liam_.

The only coherent thought left in Harry’s mind was Liam.

Everything was a blur after that. Harry vaguely registered that he’d gotten his phone out and had started to text Liam, but then suddenly his phone was gone and as he fell to the ground to claw for it hands were grabbing at him to grab his attention and someone was pulling on his necklace and his shirt had been caught on someone’s bag and had ripped and more hands were grabbing at him and then _thank god_ for Paul because Harry was then being lifted from the ground with his arms now clamped around Paul’s neck and his feet weren’t even touching the ground he was just being carried out and then suddenly everything just vanished.

They’d gotten past the barricade.

Harry was set down on his feet and after thanking everyone who was holding back the mob from the tour bus he stumbled through the door of the bus and up the steps to find everyone in the front living room just scattered everywhere; staring at him. 

Louis had been sitting to his left on the couch and the second he’d laid eyes on Harry he was leaping to his feet and reaching out for him; his hand worriedly reaching for Harry’s scratched face but Harry had already forgotten about Louis. Harry stumbled forward, completely ignoring Louis’ touch, and straight towards Liam who was standing right in front of him less than two metres away. 

Harry threw his arms around Liam’s neck and crushed himself against him, buried his face into the crook of Liam’s neck, and held on. He just held on. So damn tightly.

Liam didn’t know what to do.

Everyone was staring.

Praise the gods that Niall was the only one who knew what was actually going on:

“Ah... hey Liam, why don’t you take Harry into the bathroom and help him get cleaned up?” Niall mumbled. Everyone gave Niall a weird look, but Liam just hesitantly nodded and tried to awkwardly direct Harry to face the corridor so he could walk them towards the bathroom. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him as he did but he knew that as long as he didn’t hug Harry back then he was safe. But once they were behind that closed door Liam wrapped his arms around Harry and hugged him back so tightly because he was scared that Harry would just disintegrate if he let him go.

The two of them stayed like that for at least ten minutes, neither of them moved a muscle, only breathing in each other as they confirmed in their heads over and over again that the other was still safe and that they weren’t going anywhere. Eventually Liam pulled back though because Harry’s face had been scratched and he looked like he’d been through hell and Liam actually did have to help him get cleaned up.

Liam sat Harry down against the edge of the counter top and as he dove into their first aid kit to find disinfectant he could feel Harry’s eyes on him. It wasn’t just Harry’s eyes that he could feel though, he could also feel that same eagerness behind them that made his lower regions tingle with anticipation. Liam fought it back though, because no matter how turned on he or Harry suddenly felt now was not the time for it. He had to take care of Harry, who by the way was still shaking. 

Liam started dabbing away at the scratch on Harry’s cheek but Harry just kind of sat there with that same look and kept staring at Liam and Liam was trying really hard to focus but it just wasn’t working. After an eternity Liam had finally cleaned up Harry’s face and shoulders but then he realised that there was blood trickling down Harry’s arm. He started to panic. He grabbed Harry’s hand and flipped it over and brought it closer to look at what had happened but Harry had his fist clenched.

“Harry, open your hand...” Liam tried to soothe but Harry didn’t listen. “Harry, come on...”

Harry’s stare only intensified, and Liam ended up having to pry Harry’s hand open himself. Liam was shocked when he found the source of the bleeding. Harry had his phone clenched tightly in his hand and was refusing to let go even though the screen had shattered and he had tiny pieces of glass lodged everywhere in his palm and fingers.

“Ha-Harry, when did you take your phone back..?” Liam choked. Now he was freaking out because he thought Harry had started going through his messages or his mentions on Twitter and he thought that maybe that was the cause of Harry’s sudden defencelessness. Liam was wrong though, because when he pried the phone away from Harry’s grasp the only thing he saw through the chipped glass was that Harry had forty six unread messages and an unfinished text:

_To Liam:  
I need y_

That pain from last night was back and Liam couldn’t keep a handle on himself under the weight of it. Liam slowly put the phone back in Harry’s hand and got up to go find some tweezers to get the glass out, but as he was standing over the sink and washing them his phone vibrated in his pocket. When he pulled it out and checked the message that pain got worse:

_From Harry:  
I need you. _

From then on Liam didn’t look Harry in the eye. He sat Harry down on the closed lid of the toilet seat and got down on his knees and started picking out the glass; Harry wincing every time Liam had to dig the tweezers in to get the deep pieces out. Harry was wondering why Liam wasn’t responding and then he realised.

“I’m sorry.” Harry mumbled. Liam was currently digging out the last piece of glass and continued to not respond. Harry tried to push on. “For last ni-“

Liam had brought Harry’s hand up to his lips and kissed the cut; Harry cutting himself off at the touch, and continued kissing all along the slices in his skin until there was no blood left. When he finished he finally brought his eyes up to meet Harry’s, his lips still pressed into Harry’s palm, and the look he was staring up at Harry with sent Harry’s heart into a fit. Harry could hear Liam’s voice in his head as he stared back at him:

_“It’s okay.”_

And that was when Harry decided that this entire thing was stupid and that he was done.

He was completely done. With all of it.

He was going to tell Louis tonight.

 

Due to drastic circumstances the boys had booked out a hotel for the next few nights, and they were god damn lucky that they weren’t playing any more shows that week.

Harry called Louis using the hotel phone at around ten pm and asked him to come to his room, and when Louis showed up looking kind of worried but still mostly pissed Harry was starting to freak out again.

He was going to confront this.

He was now purposely trying to make himself sink faster.

He wanted to know what was at the bottom.

 

“Well? What did you ask me here for?” Louis demanded. Harry was sitting on his bed with his eyes focused firmly on his hands that were sitting in his lap. He didn’t know how to start.

“Umm... thi-this is really...” Harry tried but nope, that wasn’t it.

“Really what, Harry?” Louis asked. Louis was standing in front of Harry with his arms crossed; probably to try and stop himself from somehow snapping and making the situation worse. Harry tried again.

“I’m trying to...” Harry choked but again, nope.

Louis unfolded his arms and stood there kind of awkwardly as he waited.

Harry didn’t know at all how to say any of this. Maybe it was because he hadn’t said any of it to himself yet, maybe it was because he was finding it hard to breathe once more, or maybe because even though he didn’t know it Liam was standing on the other side of Harry’s door out in the hotel corridor and trying to make out what he and Louis were talking about. Harry tried again, and Liam very quietly cracked the door open an inch so he could hear what was going on. He’d been on his way here for some reason he’d now completely forgotten, but something was telling him that leaving was a very bad idea.

“Ah... the thing is...” Harry tried, that was sounding better, he decided to continue on with that. “I’m trying to come... come clean here...”

It had taken a grand total of about five agonisingly long minutes for Harry to have gotten even this far. Louis was growing impatient: 

“Look Harry you don’t have to force yourself, if you obviously don’t want to tell me then it’s fi-“

“Liam.” Harry murmured. Louis stopped talking because _what?_

“Huh? What about Liam?” Louis puzzled. Harry took a deep breath.

“Th-The guy... i-in the photo...” Harry mumbled. _“Liam.”_

“Oh.” Louis answered. It took him a second. _“Oh.”_

Liam clenched a fist outside the door.

“...yeah.” Harry mumbled. Harry and Louis just kind of fell silent for a while because _wow_ talk about awkward. Louis eventually managed to get his head around it, or at least start trying to:

“A-Are you two together, or..?” Louis choked. Harry finally looked up at Louis from his hands and when Louis’ eyes got a glimpse of Harry’s face he just felt his heart break. Harry looked so exposed.

“I don’t know.” Harry mumbled. Liam felt that pain come back again. Louis was starting to get the picture here.

“How long?” He asked. He sat down next to Harry on the bed and rested a hand on Harry’s knee. Harry covered it with his own.

“It’s been months.” Harry mumbled. Louis didn’t know whether he should still be mad or not because _wow_ , Harry didn’t even know how long he’d been not telling him for. Louis decided to swallow his anger. He tried a different angle.

“I-In that interview... when you said you had someone “special”... were you being serious or just trying to keep up a good front?” Louis asked. Harry started chewing on his bottom lip, and Liam held his breath because Harry’s answer would probably make or break him.

“...yeah.” Harry mumbled. Louis could tell that Harry meant yes to the first suggestion, but Liam couldn’t see his face so he didn’t really know what Harry’s answer was. Louis kept pushing:

“Liam said he had someone special as well... did he mean you?” Louis asked. Harry’s eyes widened a bit, and Louis realised that there was something Harry wasn’t telling him.

“Harry, what is it?" Louis soothed.

“Zayn said Liam had been texting Danielle recently.” Harry gritted.

And it was true, Danielle had been texting Liam, just to catch up and see how he and the boys were doing, but Liam definitely didn’t think Harry knew about that. That pain grew worse.

“I don’t know who he meant...” Harry added. Everything was slowly starting to become real in Harry’s mind, and now that he’d started to face the darkness surrounding him and Liam he couldn’t stop it from coming straight at him. Harry couldn’t stop anything anymore. 

Louis threw his arms around Harry’s shoulders and hugged him close, and Harry buried his face into Louis’ shoulder as he tried to get a handle on himself but it was no use. Tears started to fall down and stain Louis’ shirt. If Liam had still been outside that door then maybe things would have gone differently that night but he’d already left, and Louis stayed with Harry the entire night as Harry’s world started to crumble around him.

 

The next day gravity played its course though, and when Liam got a text from Danielle everything just spiralled out of control from there:

_From Dani:  
So I saw the interview... _

Liam didn’t know what to text back.

_From Dani:  
I’m glad you’ve found someone to make you happy again. Xx_

And Liam frowned at that. Because he definitely wasn’t happy. Not with himself, not with how out of hand everything had gotten, and especially not with the fact that Harry thought that he could possibly be even thinking about someone other than him right now. Liam threw his phone aside and stormed out; powering straight over to Harry’s room and waiting an almost torturous amount of time for Harry to open the door. Harry answered it in a towel for Christ’s sake. Liam snapped.

“Is anyone else in here?” Liam asked. Harry just stood there confused. “Are you alone?!” Liam pushed. Harry managed a nod, and then Liam was pushing forward; cupping Harry’s face with both hands and backing him up against the wall behind the door, slamming it shut with his shoulder on the way. Liam’s lips smashed onto Harry’s and he didn’t let him go. He kept kissing him, and kissing him, and kissing him; slowly and desperately until Harry finally kissed him back. Harry’s towel dropped to the floor and Liam slid a hand to the back of Harry’s neck to pull him closer, and Harry was just starting to get used to it when Liam pulled back. His hands slid back up to cup Harry’s face and he touched their foreheads together and stared back at Harry with so much hurt that Harry himself could feel it radiating out of him. Harry didn’t understand what Liam was here for. Liam kissed him again.

“You’re my someone special.” Liam urged. Liam realised that Harry’s eyes were all red and bloodshot and he kissed him again. “It’s you.”

Now Liam had to wait, because he had his hands clamped on a naked Harry and this was stupidly intimate compared to whatever they normally did because they were talking and looking each other in the eye and touching each other all at the same time and Liam didn’t even know if Harry thought of him as someone special and-

Harry clamped his hands on Liam and kissed him back; smashing their lips together with so much need that he practically forced the air out of Liam’s lungs. Liam didn’t even have time to smile because Harry was already forcing his way through Liam’s lips and shoving his tongue down his throat. Liam liked it. He matched his pace with Harry and as they gasped and tried to claw at each other for more he didn’t even realise that Harry was backing him up towards the bed. The back of his legs hit the mattress and then he was falling onto his back with Harry still crushed against him. 

The two of them landed on the bed and Liam managed to scramble back on his elbows as Harry pushed forward into his mouth again. Liam was trying to get them to the centre so that he could fight Harry back as much as he wanted, and when he got there he gripped Harry’s hips and broke his mouth away from Harry’s to start trailing his lips down his neck instead. Harry welcomed it. He mattered his hands into Liam’s hair and rolled over so that Liam could crush him into the mattress. He needed more. More touch. More taste. More Liam. And Liam was happy to give it to him.

At some point the two of them had twisted around each other until Liam was laying Harry down into the pillows and it got so out of control from there. Liam started grinding against Harry and Harry started fumbling with the zipper of Liam’s jeans to desperately try and get more contact between them, but once they were open Liam laid down on top of him and blocked Harry’s hands from getting any closer. Liam didn’t care about himself. He just had to touch Harry, as much as he could.

Harry gave up on the jeans and slid his hands around Liam’s sides and started to claw his shirt off instead, but he got kind of distracted once Liam began grinding him into the mattress and groping him all over. Harry had never enjoyed being grabbed this much before, but it still wasn’t enough. He needed more Liam, and he figured out how he was going to get it when Liam’s hand started kneading away at his ass for literally the first time and he liked it way too much. Just the thought of doing that kind of thing with Liam had his legs going weak because _fuck_ the thought of Liam being that damn close and making him feel that damn good was over whelming. Harry hesitantly lifted his leg and slid it up Liam’s side to encourage him to keep going, and when Liam’s hand started groping even more sensitive areas than it had been a second ago Harry decided to just go for it. He rolled into Liam and reached a hand back to grab his hand, and Liam thought Harry was telling him slow it down and touch somewhere else but then Harry brought Liam’s hand up to his mouth and shoved Liam’s fingers straight in.

Everything suddenly turned into white noise for Liam. He’d never thought that they’d get to this, but here they were. Harry was slicking Liam’s fingers up with his own tongue and staring him dead in the eyes as he did it. Liam could feel Harry splitting his fingers apart inside his mouth with his tongue and then swivelling it all over them, and just the feel of it alone was making Liam dizzy because _fuck_ he’d never been so turned on in his entire life. The worst part about it though was that Harry was being extremely obvious about what he wanted. Once Harry was sure that Liam wasn’t saying no to this he shifted under him and spread his legs apart, and when Liam’s eyes roamed over his body and position Harry just couldn’t wait any longer. He pulled Liam’s fingers out of his mouth and guided his hand down between his legs, the cold touch of Liam’s wet fingers making him quiver, and leant back into the pillows to somehow attempt to make himself ready for this. It didn’t help much. Because Harry realised that he had to wrap a hand around his own dick to hold it out of the way, and the fact that he was just laying there presenting himself to Liam who was still fully clothed made him turn bright red. 

Liam on the other hand found Harry spread out like this in front of him way too confronting, and before he could even try and stop it his urge to make Harry scream for him again was taking over. Liam leant forward and crashed his lips onto Harry’s again and wasted no time in trying to force his tongue right down Harry’s throat, and Harry was enjoying it, until he felt one of Liam’s hands grip the underside of his thigh and pin his leg up against his chest. Liam’s fingers ghosted over Harry’s ass as they made their way to the centre, and Harry felt the breath get knocked out of his lungs when Liam’s fingers finally started nudging against his entrance. Suddenly Harry wished they weren’t doing this face to face anymore, because Liam’s finger was slowly starting to push its way inside of him and Harry was sure that he’d turned bright red all over again. But he didn’t really have much time to dwell on that as Liam pushed in further and further until he was in Harry right up to the knuckle.

Harry didn’t even know if he’d be able to go past this point because _fuck_ this was weird but Liam was finally closer, and as he stared back at Liam with hooded eyes the only thing he could focus on was that even with Liam this close he still wanted more. He mattered a hand back into Liam’s hair and forced their lips together once more, gasping and groaning every time Liam slid his finger in and out of him, and forgetting to kiss Liam back all together when Liam let go of his leg and wrapped his hand over Harry’s around his cock. Liam started to pump Harry, using his own hand to guide Harry’s up and down his shaft with his, and it took Harry a few moments to realise that Liam was watching their hands working together to get him off, and when Harry directed his gaze down to look as well he almost passed out. He could see Liam’s arm between his legs jerking up and down as he loosened him up, and also he could feel Liam’s eyes boring into him as he watched their hands start to pump Harry in time with his fingers that were thrusting into him. Liam slid another finger in and actually started to stretch Harry a bit to get him ready, and Harry threw his head back and clenched his eyes shut. He didn’t want to watch himself getting worked over by Liam if he could help it because Liam was still fully clothed and just seeing that he was completely naked in comparison had him blushing all over again.

Liam added a third finger and started occasionally letting his hand slide lower to grip Harry’s balls and that’s when Harry realised that Liam was planning to get him completely off like this. Harry twisted around to reach for his wallet and Liam’s hands stopped moving because he thought Harry didn’t want this anymore.

“Ah... k-keep going...” Harry choked. “I’m just getting a condom...”

Liam’s eyes widened at that because _shit_ Harry was planning on letting Liam take him all the way and despite the pained faces Harry was making he apparently actually wanted more. Harry twisted back around with a condom in hand and sat up and again almost passed out when he saw how much Liam had gotten inside of him. 

“T-Take them out.” Harry ordered. Liam slowly pulled his fingers back and wiped them on the sheets and as he did Harry hooked his fingers into Liam’s boxers and pulled both his jeans and underwear down to his knees. Harry’s mouth actually dropped open because he didn’t even think it was possible to fit all of that inside of him. Neither the less he fisted his hands into Liam’s shirt and slammed him into the mattress in his place and shifted to straddle Liam’s thighs. Liam kind of just laid there and watched because he was almost certain that Harry was going to back out any second. Harry didn’t though. Liam was at an uncomfortable state of hardness as he watched Harry bite into the condom wrapper with his teeth and rip the thing open. Harry grabbed at the hem of Liam’s shirt and pulled it up so he at least had some skin showing, then pinned him down with one hand flat on his stomach; using his free hand to roll the condom onto Liam, and once he did Liam’s eyes unfocused again as Harry bobbed down and started licking him all over.

Harry didn’t care much for the taste of the so called “strawberry” flavoured lubricant but then again it’s not like that was what he was here for. When Harry thought Liam was slicked up enough he pulled back and bit his lip as he positioned himself above Liam, his hand grabbing Liam’s dick and lining it up with his entrance, and his other pinning Liam to the bed with almost his full weight pushing into his hip. Liam was going to have bruises again, and he couldn’t help but wonder if this time Harry would be close like this again soon enough to actually see them. 

Harry gripped Liam tighter and started to lower himself onto Liam’s dick, his teeth biting just that little bit harder into his bottom lip as he did it, and even though Liam wasn’t believing that he was doing this he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Harry’s face as it happened. Harry gasped and froze up when only the tip was in and Liam slid his hands up Harry’s thighs as some kind of form of reassurance, and he guessed it worked because Harry relaxed and his face untwisted from a pained expression as he started to sit back down again. Eventually Liam bottomed out and Harry was sitting there with his ass flushed against Liam’s thighs and his hands now tightly gripping Liam’s sides because _fuck_ this was so damn weird and he wasn’t even sure if there was any chance of him getting used to this and the amount of pressure in his ass right now was unbearable and-

“...you okay?” Liam mumbled. Harry realised that he’d kind of just frozen up on top of Liam with his eyes scrunched shut and head tilted back to face the ceiling. He went bright red. He felt so... slutty. “We can stop if you want, really...”

Harry very reluctantly unclenched his eyes and titled his head back down to face Liam, but was very surprised to find that Liam had sat up at some point beneath him without him noticing and was now only a few mere centimetres away. Liam’s hands slid further up his thighs to grab his hips and pull their bodies closer together. Harry blushed again because _again_ Liam was staring at where they were now closest. He couldn’t stand it. He leant forward and captured Liam’s lips with his own to distract him and it worked. Liam slid a hand up his side to end up cupping his cheek and guiding him through the kiss, and Harry was actually starting to get really worried now. Liam was so damn close right now, and as much as it hurt and as overwhelming as it was, he never wanted him to be even a millimetre further away ever again. 

Harry wove a hand into Liam’s hair to pull him closer and as they fought for dominance he realised that he was starting to get used to the amount of pressure in his ass. He tried to roll his hips to move Liam around a bit but nope, that wasn’t a good idea. He gasped into Liam’s mouth and Liam grabbed his face with both hands to kiss him again, almost as if Liam himself didn’t really care about what they were supposed to be doing right now. After a while the two of them had grown short of breath from each other’s taste and Liam decided that they probably should at least try to do something more than kiss, considering that he was so hard right now he was about to pass out.

Liam pulled away from Harry’s lips and started trailing his down the side of Harry’s neck, lightly sucking and nipping at the skin as he went, and Harry gasped and wove his hands deeper into Liam’s hair. Liam slid an arm around Harry’s waist to pull their bodies together once more and used his other to start massaging Harry’s thigh and attempt to get him to relax a bit more. He wanted to take care of Harry again, because once again Harry had gotten weak and was clinging to him for more and just the sight of it had him touching every inch of Harry he could get his hands on. Liam wanted to know Harry’s body so much better than he already did. He wanted to make Harry’s world revolve around him.

Harry however just wanted this to start feeling good already. He loved the way Liam was touching him, but it still wasn’t changing the fact that he had Liam’s hard on up his ass and that neither of them were moving. And as embarrassing as it was, he knew just how to get Liam going.

“Liam... m-make me feel good...” Harry gasped. He’d meant it to sound more confident but things change when you realise you’re asking your best friend and band mate to fuck you into next week. He also regretted it instantly because before he really got a grip on what was happening Liam was lifting him up off of his lap and making his entire body jerk at the loss of contact. Liam set Harry down on almost all fours in the middle of the bed and positioned himself behind him, and was already starting to line himself up with Harry’s ass again when Harry let it slip out.

“Wait!” Harry choked. Liam stopped straight away, a hand now frozen on the small of Harry’s back, and stared back at Harry with this look like he’d been expecting Harry to stop him. Harry didn’t like that look. He wanted Liam to expect him to ask for more. “J-Just take it slow, alright?”

He wasn’t backing out of this.

Liam gave Harry a nod and Harry turned back around to face the headboard, something which probably definitely wasn’t going to make Liam want to take it slow, and Liam bit down hard on his bottom lip as he slowly started to push himself inside Harry once again. You’d think that the tightness of Harry’s ass, or the way Harry clenched his fists around the sheets, or the sound that he made when he felt Liam in him again would be what got Liam going, but no, what got him going was watching the way that Harry’s huge muscular back tensed and writhed beneath him as he bottomed out once again. Harry was a guy. Liam knew this. Yet it wasn’t until now that it really hit him that he was actually able to be this turned on by a hard body and bulging muscles, and the way that Harry glanced back at Liam over his shoulder with his eyes shielded by his curls just made Liam that much harder. Then Liam realised.

It was Harry that turned him on.

Not just the fact that they were screwing around or that it’d been a while or that he just wanted to get off, he actually genuinely found Harry absolutely irresistible. 

Liam leant forward and started planting kisses all up the back of Harry’s spine, veering off along Harry’s shoulder blades and then finding his way up the side of Harry’s neck until Harry finally turned back around and Liam was able to catch his lips with his. Their tongues met and as Liam started to nudge his way into Harry’s mouth he gripped his hips and started to move, and Harry started to like it. Having Liam over him like that made Harry almost euphoric. He’d never wanted to be ground into and kissed and grabbed as much as he did at that moment. Once he finally got used to it the pain had faded, and all that was left was just endless waves of heat and pleasure rolling off of Liam and into himself. Even though neither he nor Liam had done this before he was sure that they were doing something right.

Liam slid his hands further up Harry’s sides and Harry gasped at the feeling of Liam’s fingertips digging into his ribs. Harry was going to have bruises tomorrow as well. Eventually their kisses faded out because Liam was breathing too heavily and Harry couldn’t keep the moans and stuttered gasps from slipping out, so Liam ended up boring his forehead into Harry’s shoulder to keep them close and Harry titled his head back so that he could hear Liam’s staggered breathing as he started to shag him harder. If Harry wasn’t completely overwhelmed by the new strange and burning feeling in his ass then he might have been blushing at the fact that he was now rocking back and forth of his own accord onto Liam’s dick in sync with Liam, but now that he’d gotten past those few painful minutes the only thing he could focus on was not coming undone every time Liam gasped his name into the blades of his shoulders.

Liam was trying his best to hold out but _fuck_ Harry was squeezing him tighter with every thrust and _fuck_ he was going in so deep now that he was bottoming out with every slam into Harry’s ass and _fuck_ Harry’s low, throaty moans weren’t helping anything right now. Eventually Liam gave up on pretending and slid a hand down over Harry’s stomach so that he could start jerking him off and he could just finish already, but Harry grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers and pinned it into the mattress next to them instead.

“D-Don’t... don’t bother...” Harry choked. Liam squeezed his hand tighter. “I’m too close already...”

Liam had never been so relieved.

“Thank god... can I go har...der?” Liam groaned. Harry bit into his bottom lip and managed a nod, and the second he’d given the okay Liam was bucking into Harry so hard that he wished he’d been gagged by Liam’s shirt again. Harry was moaning with every thrust now, and when Liam suddenly rammed into his sweet spot Harry threw his head back and cried out at the feeling. Liam didn’t need to be told twice, he started slamming into that same spot over and over again, then the next thing he knew Harry had stilled beneath him and he was actually holding Harry up by his waist as the waves of pleasure ripped through him and left him trembling in Liam’s grip. 

It only took Liam two more slams into Harry when he was that tight for Liam to reach as well, and then he too was trembling with ecstasy and gripping Harry tighter as he released inside of him. As they both rode out their highs the only thing that managed to keep them grounded was how tightly their hands were clamped around each other’s, and as they came down the only thing they could focus on was that _wow_ they were _definitely_ doing that again sometime in the near future. 

Harry didn’t even notice when Liam pulled out of him because he was still numb from the after feeling, and he thought he might have actually passed out for a moment because when his eyes finally refocused they’d settled on Liam who was stumbling out of the bathroom in a pair of low sitting jeans after having cleaned himself up. Harry had been right, he had passed out, because Liam was throwing his own shirt that he’d used to wipe up after Harry into the laundry bag, along with a dirty sheet that Harry could have sworn he’d had his fists still clenched tightly around until now.

Liam slipped out of his jeans and climbed under the covers next to Harry; Harry instantly rolling over onto his back and stretching an arm out to invite Liam forward, and Liam happily rolled into Harry’s embrace to end up curling into him with his face nuzzled into the crook of Harry’s neck and his arm draped across Harry’s stomach. Harry planted a lazy kiss to the side of Liam’s head and left his lips to linger, and he smiled into Liam’s hair when he felt Liam smile against his neck.

The two of them had sunken deeper, so deep in fact, that Liam could actually sense the bottom approaching, but at this point he didn’t care what so ever because he’d just shagged the life out of Harry and he would have probably accepted a marriage proposal if asked in his current state of deluded happiness. And Harry could sense it too, hell, if he stretched his toes could probably just manage to scrape the bottom, but he also didn’t care because Liam was in his arms and he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon and honestly that was really the only thing that mattered at this point.

The two of them fell asleep like that, at four thirty in the afternoon in Harry’s bed, surrounded by each other’s warmth and smell and bed sheets, and didn’t wake up again until around seven the next morning to the sound of their wake up call. They would’ve been discovered at dinner time actually, but by some miracle Niall had been the one who’d come to get them for dinner instead of one of the staff, and he’d just smiled at the two of them tangled amongst each other and didn’t bother to wake them. 

~

That same morning however, Louis had came in to check up on Harry when he didn’t come down for breakfast, and he was more than a little stunned to come stumbling into Harry’s room to find him practically on top of Liam and what Louis assumed to be completely naked. Harry was sprawled out across Liam’s chest with his face nuzzled against the side of Liam’s head, and Liam was kind of half awake and had been lazily running his hand through Harry’s hair as he watched him sleep for just those ten extra minutes Harry had begged Liam for over half an hour ago. Liam and Louis both had the same expression when they’d laid eyes on each other. Awkward and stunned would be the best way to describe it, but there was a hint of underlying hostility between them, radiating out of Louis mostly, because Louis had been picking up the pieces of Harry just the night before last and he wasn’t entirely okay with the fact that Liam had Harry so damn unsure of everything. Whatever hostility there was that was coming out of Liam was probably because he wasn’t finished enjoying watching Harry sleep yet and knew that things were probably about to get awkward and he just really didn’t want this great morning to come to an end yet.

Louis just kind of stood there with wide eyes, and Liam figured he should probably try to wake Harry up. Liam quietly rolled Harry off of him and sat up to lightly shake Harry’s shoulder, but all Harry responded with was an arm being slung into Liam’s stomach, resulting in Liam falling back into a half-upright position against the head board. Liam really didn’t want to meet Louis’ eyes again empty handed, so he shook Harry’s shoulder again:

“Harry, you really gotta get up...” Liam murmured. Harry frowned and buried his face into Liam’s stomach as an excuse. And as cute as this mostly conscious action was to Liam, Harry’s mind was still very much asleep.

“I let you ride me last night, I’m allowed to sleep.” Harry grumbled. Even though Louis was concerned and beyond out of place in this situation, he was still Louis:

“There’s a mental picture I didn’t need.” Louis grumbled. Harry was wide awake now. He shot straight up to stare back at Liam with wide eyes, then snapped his head around to face Louis, then back to Liam. 

“Wha...”

“I wouldn’t wake you up without a reason.” Liam mumbled. Harry went bright red. 

“Yo.” Louis greeted with a wave. Harry went redder. “I didn’t realise you two were so serious that you were already taking it up the ass, Harry.”

Yep, definitely hostile, but everyone in the room knew it was directed at Liam. Harry didn’t know how serious he and Liam were but Louis was damn determined to find out. Liam took to the challenge. He sat up again and slid an arm around Harry’s waist and pulled him close, Harry’s back now up against his chest, and rested his chin on Harry’s shoulder as he tried not to glare back. 

“Does it matter how serious we are? I’d let him do the same to me if he wanted to, so what’s the problem?” Liam mumbled. Harry and Louis weren’t expecting that kind of answer. Liam just sat there with Harry against him and waited. Harry bit his lip and blushed for the ten thousandth time this week. Louis rolled his eyes.

“Oh yeah? What about Danielle?” Louis pushed. Harry tried to jump in this time:

“Ah... about that... I’m his-“

“His what? Boyfriend?” Louis cut in. Harry went bright red again. Liam tightened his arm around Harry’s waist.

“What about Danielle? Harry’s the only one I’m interested in, so again, what does it matter?” Liam answered. Louis was seeming like a real dick right about now but he didn’t care, if he could get a straight answer out of Liam for Harry then he’d do whatever he had to to get it. Liam on the other hand was getting sick of having Louis trying to interfere with their relationship. Holy fuck, did he just use the word relationship?

“It does matter, Harry deserves to know where he stands with y-“

“Louis, look, I get that you’re trying to protect Harry but I’m not understanding what from? It’s me we’re talking about here, not some random bloke off the street.” Liam cut in. “I’m the one out of all of us that gets the most attached, so if anyone’s going to get hurt from this it’s me, so can you please just fucking drop it already?”

Louis was torn on whether or not he should keep pushing this. He didn’t want to be the bad guy here.

“L-Lou, it’s okay... I-I think I can take it from here...” Harry mumbled; his hand coming to rest over Liam’s around his waist. Louis looked Harry over then breathed a sigh of relief and shook his head before dragging himself out of there. When Harry and Liam heard the door click shut Liam didn’t really know what to say now that he’d just said all of that to Louis. Harry twisted in his arms and slowly kissed his cheek and left his lips there to linger. Liam tightened his grip on Harry’s waist again. “You’re not seeing anyone else, right?” Harry mumbled. Liam shook his head. “Then don’t worry about anything else.”

Liam felt that pain in his chest come back. He didn’t want to keep Harry hanging in a vat of uncertainty like this but then again Harry had him hanging as well. Now that they were this close to the bottom the stakes had just been raised that much higher, and the fact that they were now kind of talking about it just made it that much more unstable. Liam shifted and caught Harry’s lips with his. 

“...you’re not seeing anyone else either, right?” Liam mumbled. Harry smiled against his lips and shook his head. “...good.”

Harry decided to take a leap.

“...you wanna come over later today and watch a movie?” Harry murmured. Liam felt his breath hitch at that.

“You mean like... just the two of us?” Liam asked. Logically neither of them should be this anxious considering they’d just had sex the night before but they were. And don’t even bother with the whole “they’re best friends and band mates” thing because they hadn’t hung out just the two of them since this thing started.

“...yeah.” Harry mumbled. At least he wasn’t stuttering anymore. “If you want.”

Liam kissed Harry again.

“Yeah I’d... I’d like that...” Liam breathed. 

 

Later that day when Liam came over he was more than shocked to realise that he actually couldn’t hang out with Harry alone any more. Not the same way they’d used to at least.

As they sat there together on the couch watching Shrek the only thing Liam could focus on was that Harry was wearing his tightest pair of jeans and his tightest shirt and he kept flexing his muscles when he laughed and he was literally right next to him but he still felt miles away because those huge arms of his were around a cushion and not him. It was making Liam sad. But of course when Liam is sad he goes to Harry, but of course he couldn’t do that.

Could he? 

Suddenly this felt like a date. Because Liam was now reading Harry all over; trying to find signs or signals that Harry was sending him that gave him permission to come closer, and when he wasn’t really sure if what he was seeing were signs at all he got frustrated and got up to go get something from the mini bar. When Liam left Harry let out a huge sigh because why the hell wasn’t Liam making a move on him? Harry was literally not doing anything as he just sat there waiting for Liam to at least sling an arm around his shoulder, but Liam wasn’t doing it, and Harry was also getting frustrated because _god damn_ was this as far as their chemistry went?

The thing was though that Liam was waiting for a chance to snuggle up against Harry, and Harry was waiting for the same thing from Liam, so they were both wanting to be a little spoon and that’s exactly why they couldn’t get a read on each other. 

When Liam came back he’d found a new resolve, and abandoned his previous idea and switched to trying something else. He sat down next to Harry closer than he’d been before and laid his hand out on his knee with his palm facing up for Harry to take. And he waited. That’s all he did, just waited, and eventually Harry reached out and wrapped his hand around Liam’s and squeezed it tight. Harry’s grip sent Liam’s heart into a fit. Liam couldn’t help but gravitate towards Harry and lay his head down on his shoulder, and when Harry leant his head on top of Liam’s Liam was almost positive that Harry could feel his pulse racing from the grip he had on his hand. Liam stuck it out though, and they stayed like that for the rest of the movie, but when the movie finished and Harry shifted to snuggle up against his chest Liam’s pulse skyrocketed again. Harry noticed and smiled into Liam’s shoulder.

“You can be really cute sometimes, you know that?” Harry smirked. Liam raised an eyebrow. 

“Is that a compliment?” Liam mused. Harry shrugged. 

“It is if you want it to be.” He smirked. Liam frowned.

“I’d rather be called ruggedly handsome than cute.” He pouted. Harry laughed.

“You’re that too.” He mused. Great, now Liam’s heart was about to explode and send Harry flying across the room. 

“Oh... does that mean you find me physically appealing?” Liam teased.

“I find many things about you appealing.” Harry mumbled. Liam couldn’t help but pull his hand out of Harry’s and slide it around his waist instead to pull him closer. Harry smiled, because Liam was warm and firm and he smelt _good_ and-

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Liam murmured. He’d caught Harry off guard. “I probably sound like a fan right now but you really are perfect.”

Oh joy, the blushing and stuttering was back.

“Wha-What are you s-saying all of a sudde-“

“I mean it.” Liam murmured. “Absolutely incredible.”

Harry fell silent for ages. Liam felt a lump in the back of his throat. He hadn’t meant to say any of that out loud and he wasn’t really sure that he wanted to get away with it. The credits finished and Harry finally spoke up; tilting his head up from Liam’s shoulder to turn those hazy green eyes of his onto Liam at full blast. Liam bit down hard on the inside of his cheek.

“If... uh... if we were... you know...” Harry started. Liam frowned. Because Liam didn’t know and maybe if Harry was acting confident around him like he used to then he might but Harry wasn’t so again Liam just didn’t know. Harry seemed to realise this. He cleared his throat and tried again. “If we were more than what we are now... what would happen..?”

“What do you mean what would happen? You know what would happen.” Liam murmured. His throat had become dry and that lump was now making it hard for him to breathe but he had to finish this infernal conversation because if he didn’t he knew the lump would only come back again and again until he did. 

“I mean, would _we_ be different.” Harry mumbled. “Would we be the same?”

Liam actually smiled.

“You mean would I treat you differently?” He mused. Harry bit his lip and nodded. Liam had to think about that for a moment. He knew where Harry was coming from. They didn’t _act_ like two people who liked each other almost all of the time. Liam figured now might as well be a good a time as any to test how Harry reacted to him. “Well, first off...”

Liam slid a hand under Harry’s knees and swung his legs over his; Harry falling back and being caught mid fall by the arm Liam had around his waist. They were suddenly eye to eye. Wide green ones to teasing brown.

“We wouldn’t be able to watch movies together anymore.” Liam mused. He lowered Harry down onto his back and leaned over him with a hand pinned into the sofa next to Harry’s head. Still eye to eye. “...Because I’d forever be distracted by you.”

Harry couldn’t believe it. _Liam_ was _flirting_ with _him_.

Harry finally turned back into his old self, the one that’d gotten Liam hard on that tour bus couch in the first place, and grabbed onto the collar of Liam’s shirt to pull him closer.

“I’m a distraction, am I?” Harry sung. He brought Liam lower until his lips were ghosting his, but he made sure they didn’t touch. “Please elaborate for me... Li.”

Liam held back a shiver. He’d have to be blunt since he was dealing with Harry. He closed his eyes and dragged his lips up the side of Harry’s neck.

“Tight clothes... strong arms... husky voice...” Liam groaned. He breathed Harry in and paused to whisper in his ear. “An amazing smell... brilliant smile... huge dick...”

Harry bit down hard on his bottom lip. He didn’t think Liam found anything about his body attractive to begin with. 

“H-Huge dick..?” Harry choked. Well that lasted long. Liam hummed and kissed his jaw.

“What did you think I dreamt about when I dreamt of you?” He sung. Harry was tasting blood now. “Second...” Liam went on. He ran a hand down Harry’s arm painfully slowly. “I’d be able to do this whenever I wanted.”

Liam slipped his hand into Harry’s and interlocked their fingers, and this time Harry was the one to have his heart start pounding.

“Third.” Liam sung. “The next time Louis leaves love bites on you I’ll have the right to sock him one.”

“Ahh... sexy, sweet, and jealous...” Harry groaned. “Sounds perfect...”

Liam pulled back and sat up to run a hand through his hair. He sighed and gave Harry’s leg a squeeze. 

“Yeah, sounds great... doesn’t it..?” Liam mumbled. Sounding wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted it to be real. “But as you said, _if_.”

That tension in the air was back. That tension from so many months ago. 

Harry sat up and reached a hand up to cup Liam’s jaw and force him to look at him. Harry had an idea of what the bottom looked like now, and he was almost positive that if he could get to it it’d be the best thing in the world. But he didn’t know how. He couldn’t find the words that’d get them there. 

“Yeah... _if_...” Harry mumbled.

 

That night Harry called Louis. He was kind of mad about this morning but... he needed Louis. When Louis picked up he sounded, well, tired. Harry checked the time and felt horrible. It was three am.

“...Harry? You there?” Louis croaked. Harry was about to start chewing on his bottom lip again but then he remembered he probably shouldn’t make himself bleed any more this week.

“Can I talk to you?” Harry mumbled. Louis sighed.

“It’s three in the morning Haz.” He groaned. Harry sighed back and ran a hand through his hair. 

“I know but...”

“It’s about Liam, isn’t it?” Louis cut in. Harry nodded, and Louis somehow knew he did. “Well?”

“...I don’t know what’s going to happen.” Harry murmured. Louis sat up and waited. “What if he-“

“Let me have a crack at this.” Louis interrupted again. Harry swallowed thickly.

“O-Okay.” He mumbled.

“You two have slept together.” Louis said. 

“Yeah.” Harry mumbled.

“You kiss sometimes, just kiss.”

“Yep.”

“Does he find you attractive?”

“Y-Yeah...”

“Do you find him attractive?”

“Mmhm.”

“You’ve both stopped seeing other people.”

“Mmm...”

“You do other stuff like hold hands and cuddle?”

“...yeah.”

“You get jealous when he’s with someone else.”

“Yeah...”

“Does he get jealous when you’re with someone else?”

“Y-Yeah...”

“He makes you smile more than I do.”

“M-Mmm...”

“He’s admitted to thinking he’s the one that’ll get hurt, not you.”

“Ah...”

“You can’t sleep right now because he’s not there, right?”

“Ahh... y-yeah.”

“You’re absolutely miserable right now.”

“Yeah...”

“You love him.”

“Yea-“

Harry threw a hand over his mouth and dropped his phone. His eyes were so wide they could probably fall out at any moment. Louis’ laugh could be heard vaguely from the other end of the line. Eventually Harry picked his phone back up but his hand was trembling so much that he couldn’t even hold it to his ear.

“Wh-Wha-What do I d-do..?” Harry choked. Louis smiled.

“You go to sleep, Harry.” Louis murmured. “...and in the morning you tell him.”

~

The next morning though the boys were hauled back onto the tour bus and when Harry saw Liam the next morning he just couldn’t say it. The other boys were around and so was the crew and they were walking from the elevator towards the exit and it just wasn’t right. But Harry was bursting at the seams under the pressured atmosphere between him and Liam now. Things were so tense and he wasn’t even sure if this feeling that he had was enough to convince himself that once he told Liam that it’d fix it but either way he just had to. He had to reach that damn bottom. He needed to feel his feet on the ground after months of endless drifting. He needed something solid. Liam was solid. 

Once they were on the bus Liam went straight to his bunk, and when Harry climbed in next to him he was kind of confused. They’d parted ways on tense terms yesterday. He didn’t expect Harry to want to be near him right now. Louis walked past and saw them and right before Harry pulled the curtain to Liam’s bunk across Louis threw a condom at the two of them.

“For when you’re celebrating.” Louis smirked. Harry tried not to blush and he jerked the curtain shut.

“Hey.” Harry mumbled. Liam was still confused. 

“Hey?” Liam answered. Harry snuggled up under Liam’s arm and rested his head on Liam’s chest. Liam was warm. Always warm.

“The next time we’re completely alone I’ve got something to run by you.” Harry murmured. Liam got the wrong idea.

“What? So Louis is helping you get me into bed now?” Liam mused. Harry shook his head and nuzzled closer then fisted a hand around Liam’s shirt. 

“Not that kind of alone.” Harry mumbled. Liam was still confused.

“You’re not making sense.” Liam said. Harry yawned in response.

“Just let me sleep with you...” Harry drawled. “I’ll explain eventually.”

Liam was _still_ confused. Was Harry trying to ignore that tension now or?

“Harry, look-” Liam started but Harry clenched his hand tighter around Liam’s shirt.

“...please, Li.” Harry mumbled. His voice had suddenly become raspy and desperate. He sounded like he was about to cry. “...just hold me.”

How could Liam say no to that?

Liam tightened his arm around Harry and slid his other around his waist to pull him on top of him. Harry nuzzled into the crook of Liam’s neck like a kitten and smiled at Liam’s warmth. Liam pulled his blanket over the two of them.

Harry hadn’t meant to ask Liam anything so needy but when he was there and getting ready to say it he just felt... like something was coming to an end. It hurt to think about it.

So he pushed it aside, for now. Harry was more than okay with catching up on a good five hours sleep in Liam’s arms anyway. 

When Harry woke up though it was to the sound of Liam moaning in his sleep, and although he really didn’t want to do anything else with Liam until he told him he couldn’t really control himself when it was his name Liam was choking out.

“Nnnn... H-Har...” Liam groaned. Harry was now laying against Liam’s side between him and the wall and could only just make out Liam’s face from the light shining in from around the edges of the curtain. Liam had his eyes clenched shut and his mouth twisted the rest of his face into a painfully lustful expression. It didn’t take Harry more than a few seconds to realise that Liam was having a dirty dream about him. Harry bit his lip.

“F-Faste- ah...” Liam gasped. “H-Harder... just like tha-ahhhhh...”

Such stupid words were making Harry turned on more than he’d have liked. Liam wasn’t vocal whenever they did anything, and Harry definitely wanted to hear more.

“So big... f-fuck Harr...ry...” Liam choked. “Spank me har...de...r-aaaaaaahhhhh...”

...

Was Liam a masochist?

“Ahhhh..! Ah... Ah... Ah...”

Oh my god why didn’t Harry try to fuck Liam in that hotel room while he had the chance? 

“Haa...rr...yyyyy..!”

Suddenly Liam sat up; eyes wide, out of breath, fists clenched around his blanket and Harry’s shirt. Harry couldn’t resist himself. He sat up next to Liam and started sucking on the side of his neck. Liam jerked at the sudden contact then rolled his head to give Harry more room.

“Spank me... huh?” Harry mused. Liam went bright red. Why oh why did he have to talk in his sleep? “I’m going to check the bus, and if we’re alone then you’re going to get what you so desperately want.”

Harry got up and tiptoed up and down both ends of the corridor to come back disappointed.

“Zayn’s on the phone at the front.” Harry grumbled. He climbed back into Liam’s bunk and shifted to straddle Liam’s lap. “But that just means you have to be quiet.”

Before Liam could protest Harry was starting on a love bite on the side of his neck, and they both knew there was no hope for Liam in getting out of this. Harry’s love bites were his weakness, after all.

“Don’t worry... I won’t get too rough...” Harry sung. Liam groaned and wove a hand into Harry’s hair to pull him closer. If Harry loved Liam being vocal then Liam loved Harry talking dirty. They both really wished they’d spoken while screwing around sooner.

“Ahh... Where’s this Harry been the past few months?” Liam gasped. Harry smiled and ran his tongue up the side of Liam’s neck before starting on his third love bite.

“Letting you have your way with him.” Harry smirked. “But now it’s his turn.”

Harry’s lips reconnected with Liam’s neck and he yanked down Liam’s trackies as far as he could. Straight away he wrapped his hand around Liam’s dick and started to jerk him off, and Liam let his head fall back to give Harry more room on his neck. But Harry didn’t want that. He started to pump Liam harder and Liam clenched his eyes shut, but when Harry realised that because they were doing sex stuff now that he couldn’t tell Liam he loved him, he decided to at least make Liam feel that he cared enough. Liam was trying his hardest not to moan as Harry’s hands roamed all over him but he wasn’t really succeeding, so when he felt Harry’s hand cup his jaw and guide their lips together he was struggling to keep himself composed. He rolled his head back again and clenched his fists around the sheets, but Harry was determined. He cupped Liam’s face again but when Liam didn’t or couldn’t lift his head he started to push Liam back down onto his back, and when Liam’s head hit the pillow his lips were in Harry’s reach again. 

Harry began softly trailing his lips along Liam’s collarbone and then up along his neck, across his jaw line, and finally ghosting his lips over Liam’s to try and edge him to kiss him back. It wasn’t working. Liam was too focused on how good his dick was feeling with Harry’s hand wrapped tightly around it to focus on anything else. Harry became more on the offense. He cupped Liam’s jaw again and kept nuzzling his lips against Liam’s, but as Liam gasped and rolled his head to the side from a sudden surge of pleasure Harry became more determined.

“Don’t look away, Li...” Harry murmured. He continued kissing Liam all over and pressed their foreheads together to force Liam to face him. “Kiss me when I touch you...”

Liam was suddenly overwhelmed because Harry was never the one to make their things intimate and _wow_ he’d at some point opened his eyes and he was staring into Harry’s golden green ones and-

Liam mattered both hands into Harry’s hair and forced their lips together so hard he completely forgot that he was being gotten off. Harry tasted so good and he was desperate for more and _fuck_ why was Harry such a god damn good kisser? Liam gasped and tugged on Harry’s hair as he opened his mouth to him, and as Harry pushed forward and all the way into Liam’s mouth Liam couldn’t keep himself together. Harry had slid off of Liam at some point and was now laying against his side and almost completely on top of him and this was the exact opposite of what he’d been dreaming and there was just so much Harry and-

Liam came just like that, without needing anything else but Harry’s overwhelming closeness to send him over the edge, and Harry was actually surprised as Liam arched his back off the bed beneath him and choked out his name over and over again because he’d only been jerking him off for less than a minute. As Liam came down Harry pulled off both his shirt and Liam’s which were now ruined and resumed his place at Liam’s side, and when he thought Liam was together enough to listen to him he tried to find out what on Earth Liam had been dreaming to get him that close in the first place.

“So tell me about that dream...” Harry sung. He started tracing his finger in light circles around Liam’s nipple and Liam groaned. “Maybe we could re-enact it?”

Liam was still kind of embarrassed and definitely not with it and still too god damn weak to ever be able to resist Harry’s taunting.

“There’s... There’s no way we’re re-enacting that...” Liam choked. Harry just hummed in amusement and pressed his lips to the side of Liam’s neck. 

“I’ll find out eventually you know... I just have to get experimental...” Harry mused. Liam swallowed thickly.

“...If I tell you... you have to promise you won’t try it.” Liam mumbled. Harry nodded, but they both knew he was lying. Liam was still too out of it so he told him anyway. “We-We were living together... as mates... but you came home drunk one night.”

“Oh... I like how this is going.” Harry sung. Liam blushed but continued on.

“And when you came up to my room to tell me you were home you got angry at me for not wearing a shirt.” Liam mumbled. “You said it made you want to do bad things to me...”

Liam was scarlet now, and starting to realise that he was actually telling Harry this, but Harry’s hand that was now massaging his chest urged him on. “And when I asked what you meant you got madder and lunged at me.” Liam went on. He started to choke from then on out. “Y-You pinned me to the bed and t-tied my wrists to the headb-board... and then when you ripped my trousers down to m-my knees I beg- asked you to stop, but you just smiled and took your shirt o-off and climbed behind me and- once you were in me I beg- asked you to fuck me like that until the sun came u..p.”

Harry didn’t know what to say, and great, now he was hard and-

“I-It’s been the same damn dream for the past three weeks.” Liam mumbled. Harry didn’t believe it.

“Wait, if you’ve been dreaming that for th-three weeks then-“ Harry had to cut himself off because the thought of Liam jerking off to him every morning made him dizzy. Who could blame Harry for what he did next?

Harry shoved Liam over onto his side and snaked his hands around him; one sliding up over his chest to start toying with Liam’s nipple, and the other down over Liam’s crotch and pushing Liam’s ass right up against his hard on. Liam gasped but Harry took no notice. Harry kissed Liam’s bicep and groaned, then started dragging his lips up over Liam’s shoulder until he was sucking on what was probably his sixth love bite of the day.

“Ah... Harry what are you-“ Liam tried but Harry forced his lips to his and cut him off. When he finally pulled back to let Liam breathe he began kissing all up and down the side of his neck again.

“I had no idea you thought about me that much.” Harry gasped. He started grinding against Liam’s ass and smiled into Liam’s neck when he felt Liam begin to harden up again. “Or that I could get you so turned on to even think about wanting to do that with me.”

Liam wasn’t sure where this was headed but _fuck_ Harry was taking the lead and making every part of him heat up at the same time and Liam knew they definitely weren’t finished for the day. 

“Y-You’ve already let me gag you and take you all the way, why wouldn’t I be up for it too?” Liam groaned. Harry’s dick was pressing right against the centre line of his ass and he just really _really_ wanted it to be inside his boxers already, but they both knew Liam’s bunk was just a bit too small for that. To be fair there was enough room in the bunk, but Liam was scared he’d feel claustrophobic if his first time was in such a cramped space. Harry growled against Liam’s neck and quickened his pace until he was practically dry humping Liam.

“Fuck I need to make you feel good, Li...” Harry groaned. “Let me make you feel good.”

Liam was aching for it but again, the bunk was too small.

“I’m not saying no but we can’t do it on the bus.” Liam gasped. Harry was now palming Liam through his trackies and Liam was breaking. Harry groaned and rolled more into Liam so that Liam was practically laying on his stomach with Harry grinding him into the mattress. 

“Please, Li...” Harry moaned. Liam couldn’t resist Harry being on top of him like that. He broke.

“Ah, shit... f-fine... but do me in the bathroom.” Liam gasped. Harry froze mid-grind. “N-Not here...”

Harry kissed Liam’s neck again and fought back a smile. He didn’t think Liam would actually agree, he’d just wanted to have some fun with him but _wow_.

“What..? R-Really?” Harry choked. Liam bit his lip and nodded.

“Just go check if the bus is empty enough.” Liam groaned. Harry was hesitant to move in case Liam was kidding. “Come on, hurry up! Don’t get me like this if you’re not going to go through with it.” 

That was all Harry needed. He jumped off of Liam and scurried off down the corridor to check who was on the bus, and when he came back he was surprised by a hand reaching out and grabbing his neck and yanking him inside the bathroom. Liam slammed him up against the door and forced their lips together once more and Harry smiled into Liam’s mouth and slid his hands around Liam’s waist to grip his ass. Liam gasped and switched their places; Harry now pinning Liam to the door instead, and began grinding against Harry for more contact. Harry smiled wider. He pulled away from Liam’s neck and handed Liam his fingers, which Liam obediently stuck in his mouth and started sucking on, which drove Harry mad at just the sight of it. Harry resumed kissing along Liam’s neck again and clumsily pulled down Liam’s trackies and boxers with his free hand.

“Mmmph... who’s on the bus..?” Liam muffled. He still had Harry’s fingers in his mouth. Harry smiled against his neck and grabbed a handful of Liam’s ass again.

“No one.” Harry smirked. Neither did the two of them know it but Zayn wasn’t stupid, he’d figured them out weeks ago. And he definitely didn’t want to stick around and hear them gasping and moaning all afternoon. Liam smiled back.

“Thank fuck...” He gasped. “I can’t keep quiet when it comes to you.”

Harry wanted to scream out how much he loved Liam now. Instead he slammed Liam back up against the door with another kiss and grabbed Liam’s thigh to help sling Liam’s leg around his waist.

“Can I..?” Harry gasped. He currently had his other hand sliding over Liam’s ass and Liam shivered at the contact.

“Don’t ask, just do it.” Liam growled. Apparently Liam wasn’t wanting to take his first time slow like Harry had been. That drove Harry wild.

Harry smashed his lips back onto Liam’s and started to nudge his fingers into him, and Liam gasped and wove his arms around Harry’s head to pull him closer so tightly that Harry was almost suffocated by it. If Liam wanted this rushed then Harry could definitely do that. He started straight off with two fingers and even though he went slowly Liam was still clenching his eyes shut and groaning at the feeling. That didn’t stop Harry though, he slid them all the way in and when he started to scissor his fingers inside of Liam Liam felt all the strength drain out of him. Harry had to pin their chests together and tighten his grip on Liam’s leg to help hold him up.

“Ugh... Fuck you’re good at this...” Liam gasped. He decided on giving up on kissing Harry for the moment and buried his face into Harry’s shoulder so that he could focus on standing upright. Harry smiled cheekily and kissed whatever of Liam’s skin was in his reach.

“You’re feeling it already, huh?” Harry mused. Liam blushed and clung onto Harry tighter.

“Have you seen the size of your fingers?” Liam choked. “You might as well be inside me already right no-ahh..!”

Liam tightened his grip on Harry and Harry was trying his absolute hardest to stop himself from telling Liam how he felt but it was becoming so damn hard.

“Ha..rr...y..” Liam choked. Harry stuck a third finger in and Liam almost collapsed. Liam hadn’t ever let himself say anything when they were doing stuff up until now, but since every time he tried to tell Harry that he even slightly cared about him Harry never responded back enough, he figured that if he could force Harry to connect with him like this then he might jerk a slight feeling of reciprocation loose. Liam didn’t know though that Harry was trying his hardest not to scream out how much Liam’s feelings were reciprocated. But Harry had came to sleep with him today, so that must’ve accounted for something, right?

“Li, I can’t wait any longer...” Harry choked. “Wait here while I go get a condo-“

Liam cut Harry off with another kiss and groaned into his mouth.

“Don’t... don’t worry about it just... just stick it in already...” Liam choked. Okay it was obvious Liam was fishing for a reaction but Harry was too focused on not saying anything to realise. Liam had to try something drastic. He pulled his leg out of Harry’s grasp and turned around to face the door; grabbing onto the towel rack with both hands then glancing back over his shoulder at Harry. “Hurry up and shag me senseless.” He gasped.

Harry finally snapped.

He licked his hand all over and attempted to slightly slick himself up then stepped up behind Liam. He pushed a hand to the small of Liam’s back to bend him over and lined himself up, and once he started to push his way inside of Liam he gripped his hips until he bottomed out and slid his arms around Liam’s waist to eliminate any remaining space between them. Liam’s eyes unfocused. Harry was finally close again and _fuck_ he couldn’t focus on anything at that moment if he wanted to. Harry slid his arms higher up Liam’s torso and squeezed him tight before leaning closer and trailing his lips up the side of Liam’s neck once more. Liam moaned and wanted to move but he couldn’t, Harry was practically holding him on his feet right now. His hands gripping the door weren’t doing anything, so he decided to reach one back over his and Harry’s shoulders and weave it into Harry’s hair to force their eyes to meet. When they did Liam stopped panting, and Harry stopped breathing all together.

They were so damn close.

Liam’s other hand laid itself over Harry’s and Harry interwove their fingers, Harry’s gaze drifted down to Liam’s lips and Liam closed his eyes and tilted his head up a bit more, and when their lips met everything just seemed to stop around them. Harry let it slip out against Liam’s lips before he could stop it.

“I think I’m in love with you, Li.” Harry mumbled. Liam’s eyes shot wide open. “And not just because of what we’re doing, I’ve been wanting to tell you all day.”

Harry’s hand tightened around Liam’s.

“You’re my someone special.” Harry whispered.

Now Harry had to wait, and he still swears on his life that those were the longest five seconds of his entire existence, because as he waited for Liam’s answer he was trying to fight off his insanely strong urge to fuck the life out of Liam and also his insanely strong urge to run away from him and never lay eyes on him again.

But Liam kissed him back, hard, and as their kiss got deeper and deeper Harry didn’t care what Liam’s full answer was, because Liam wasn’t running away, and that meant Harry at least had time to make Liam his. Harry started to move and Liam broke their lips apart to tilt his head back and rest it on Harry’s shoulder; moaning and gasping with every slide that Harry made in and out of him. He’d dreamt that he’d like it as much as he did, but he hadn’t dreamt that Harry would be all around him and as close. It was so much better than his dreams. He tightened his grip on Harry’s hair and Harry began trailing his lips up and down his neck again.

“You mean I didn’t have to beg for it..?” Liam gasped. Harry sped up and he struggled to get more words out. “You were going to tell me anyway?”

“Wait, you knew?” Harry groaned. He bent Liam forward and Liam had to push both hands to the door to stop himself from falling. Harry tightened his arms around Liam.

“Ahh... well I didn’t not know...” Liam gasped. Liam had definitely hadn't been expecting the "L" word. To have gone from no talking to the most talking they’ve done in months; whilst they were fucking, and to be using _that word_ was kind of overwhelming for Liam. He'd never let Harry know that though. “Now shut up and fuck me.”

Harry gave up on talking, at least for now. He shifted his hands to grip Liam’s hips and started slamming into him over and over again until he found that spot that made Liam’s entire body jerk, and when Liam gasped and told Harry “not there” that’s exactly where Harry began to hit with every single thrust. Liam clenched his eyes shut and once he got used to it moans where just rolling out of him and driving Harry crazier. Harry went harder and as Liam’s legs grew weaker Harry had to wrap his arms back around Liam’s waist to hold him up, but the feeling of not being able to escape the intensity of it sent Liam over the edge quicker than he’d have liked. Liam started to tighten up and Harry went into overdrive to try and finish at the same time as Liam but Liam hit his high first and threw his head back to choke out Harry’s name until he couldn’t breathe and his legs had buckled. Harry caught him and pinned him right against the door and that final slam sent Harry over the edge as well.

Liam wasn’t really sure if he liked the feeling of Harry spilling inside of him but Harry was gasping in his ear and gripping bruises into his hips and he really wasn’t in a place to be complaining considering how fucking _good_ he felt. When Harry finally came back to Earth he unclenched his eyes and pulled out of Liam, but seemed to forget that he was supporting Liam’s weight. Liam sank to the floor and when Harry reached a hand out to help him up Liam grabbed it and yanked Harry on top of him; rolling on top of Harry instead and kissing the life out of him until he couldn’t breathe again. Liam smiled against Harry’s lips and Harry smiled back.

“You’re quite the temptress; using your body to get me to confess.” Harry mused. He slid a hand down Liam’s back and gave his ass a squeeze. Liam gasped.

“I’d run out of ideas.” Liam smirked. They kissed again and when Liam pulled back he had a different look in his eyes. “Harry I-“

Harry pushed a finger to Liam’s lips and smiled.

“Shhh...” Harry soothed. “...not here.”

Liam pouted. Harry sat up and Liam had to change to straddling his lap so that he didn’t fall off of Harry.

“We’re going to have a shower, and when we’re not covered in each other’s stuff you can tell me under the hot water.” Harry murmured. Liam blushed. “Now get off of me so I can take my pants off and clean up.”

Liam punched Harry’s chest and Harry laughed.

“Bossy, aren’t we?” Liam teased. Harry smirked.

“You wanted me to talk and now I’m not going to stop.” He mused. Liam rolled his eyes and got off of Harry to go turn on the shower. Harry slowly got to his feet and kicked off his pants that were still tangled around his ankles. When Harry turned his eyes back on Liam though he was almost mesmerised by how he beautiful he looked under the water. He had his head rolled back and was massaging his neck as he welcomed the warmth, and as Harry watched Liam run soap all over his body he felt his heart ache. He crept up behind Liam and wrapped his arms around his waist; closing his eyes and kissing one of the many love bites he’d left on Liam’s neck. Liam smiled and twisted in Harry’s arms to meet his lips with his. As they fought for power their hands gripped the back of each other’s necks to pull the other closer, and when they finally pulled back neither of them pulled away. They just stood there under the water; eyes shut, forehead to forehead, nose to nose, chest to chest. Harry’s legs were shaking.

“I think I love you too.” Liam breathed. Harry was more than a little shocked when he realised he still hadn’t hit the bottom. He’d thought Liam’s words would do it, but they hadn’t. They still weren’t there yet. Neither the less Harry smashed his lips onto Liam’s as hard as he could and pushed him up against the wall of the shower, and when Liam smiled Harry smiled back. He didn’t really care where they were, as long as they were forever growing closer. 

Everything seemed to just fall into place from there. Three weeks after that Harry and Liam had been snogging on the tour bus couch, and when the boys accidentally walked in on them they just made faces at the two of them and kept walking. Harry and Liam gave each other questioning looks because they thought they’d been secretive enough but apparently not. A month after that when they were back in London Harry had called up his mum and told her that he finally wanted to introduce her to the guy from the photo, and the second she’d found out it was Liam she’d gushed over the two of them for hours. Everything else was mostly fine until there.

Until the boys had an interview and when they were asking if they were “dating” anyone Liam had said yes, but Harry had said no:

Liam slammed the door to his flat shut and started furiously running his hands through his hair. He was trembling so much and he couldn’t stop it. It took him at least five minutes to even manage a glance at Harry, who was also shaking, but was sitting on the couch in the room next to him. Harry was freaking out, and Liam was freaking out. Neither of them knew what to say first.

Eventually Liam stumbled into the living room and sat down on the coffee table in front of Harry; taking Harry’s hands in his and staring back at him with such a heart breaking look that it made Harry’s shaking even worse.

“Harry you...” Liam urged, but he honestly had no idea what he even _wanted_ to say. The room fell silent. Harry couldn’t breathe, Liam was holding his hands so damn tightly and he was trembling so damn much and- “What... what are we to you..?” 

More silence.

Deafening silence.

“W-We’re in love...” Harry choked. Liam tightened his grip on Harry’s hands.

“Yeah, we are...” Liam murmured. “But what else?”

Harry started chewing on his bottom lip; a gesture that Liam had come to think of as endearing, but right now it made him want to scream at Harry to stop.

“Li I-“ Harry started but his words just stopped coming. Liam was still trembling. 

“Are we not together?” Liam choked. “Th-This whole time... have I been getting ahead of myself? Am I not allowed to call you mine like I have been?”

“Li of course not, I’m all yours, I have been since we first-“

“WELL WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THINKING RIGHT NOW HARRY?!” Liam screamed. He’d let go of Harry’s hands and was now screaming at him from the other side of the coffee table. When he’d gotten all the way over there Harry didn’t know.

Harry didn’t know what to do right now. Everything he’d thought up until now was apparently wrong and Liam was tearing his idea of the two of them to shreds and he wasn’t okay with it. He wasn’t okay because Liam looked so damn unstable, and that made him unstable, and when Liam raised his voice like that Harry was starting to think that he’d really, really screwed up.

They were both still shaking.

“WE SLEEP TOGETHER EVERY NIGHT, WHEN I’M AWAY FROM YOU FOR MORE THAN THREE HOURS I TEXT YOU, WE HOLD HANDS, WE SAY “I LOVE YOU” EVERY DAY, WHEN WE’RE IN PRIVATE I HOLD YOU CLOSE AND YOU PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND MY NECK AND YOU SMILE BACK AT ME AND KISS ME AND-“

“I didn’t know! Alright?!” Harry snapped. Harry was standing now too, and he looked just as freaked as Liam did. “I didn’t know what we were, okay?! I knew that I loved you and that neither of us were going anywhere and that we were exclusive but I just didn’t know what else! You’ve never once called me your boyfriend, you haven’t told your parents, hell, you haven’t even taken me out on a date! What the fuck am _I_ supposed to be thinking right now, Liam?!” 

Liam was lost. So damn lost.

“I’ve been praying every night that you’ll ask me out or even something along those lines but you never do!” Harry yelled. “What the hell am I supposed to assume we are if I have nothing to _go_ on?!”

Liam clenched his fists and kicked the couch, and Harry finally stopped shaking, maybe out of fear.

“WELL WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU ASK ME THEN, HARRY?! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU’RE INSECURE ABOUT US IF YOU DON’T TELL ME?!” Liam screamed. He was hysterical now. Not because he was mad at Harry, but because he was so damn mad at himself. He had no right to say they were dating if he couldn’t even pick up on how uncertain Harry was about the two of them. Okay, maybe he was a tiny bit mad that Harry hadn’t spoken up for this long, but still. He kicked the couch again and screamed out.

Harry flinched. And Liam realised he was scaring Harry. He felt all that anger drain out of him straight away. He hadn’t meant to scare him. He never wanted to scare him.

“Shit Harry, I’m sorry...” Liam gasped. He sunk into the couch and buried his face in his hands. He’d stopped trembling. Eventually Harry thought he was okay to take a seat next to Liam, so he did. Harry slowly laid a hand on Liam’s knee, and Liam covered it with his own. “I didn’t mean to- I didn’t mean to freak you out.” Liam urged. He was still covering his eyes with his hand. “You just scared the shit out of me today.”

Harry squeezed Liam’s hand tight and leant into him; nuzzling up under Liam’s arm and resting his head on Liam’s shoulder.

“...I didn’t mean to scare you.” Harry mumbled. Liam shifted and let himself fall back against the couch, and Harry nuzzled up to him again. They always seemed to end up back here. On a stupid couch.

“Same here.” Liam breathed. He tightened his grip and kissed Harry’s forehead. Harry smiled, wearily.

“Does this mean we’re together then?” Harry asked. He looked so hopeful suddenly and when Harry looked at Liam like that Liam’s stomach did it’s familiar twist. Liam stood up and moved to face Harry, and Harry’s eyes flashed wide with fear as he pulled away, but when Liam smiled and got down on one knee and took Harry’s hand in his, Harry felt a completely different type of fear.

“Go out with me..?” Liam begged. Harry whacked him in the side of the head with the nearest cushion that he could get his hands on. Liam burst out laughing. Harry pouted.

“It’s not funny!” Harry defended. Liam laughed harder, until Harry fisted both hands around the collar of his shirt and yanked him forward until their lips crashed together. Liam was still smiling, and Harry smiled back. “Of course, Li.” Harry murmured. Liam nudged his nose against Harry’s and smiled wider. Harry blushed. “L-Love you.”

“Love you too, _boyfriend_.” Liam smirked. Harry whacked him with another cushion. “Oi.”

“D-Don’t say it like that.” Harry mumbled. Liam couldn’t help but smile his face off because he’d missed blushing and stuttering Harry so damn much. 

“Like what? _Boyfriend_?” Liam smirked. Harry went to hit Liam again but this time Liam caught the cushion. Harry blushed harder for no apparent reason.

“D-Don’t tease me, this is serious...” Harry protested. Liam smiled even wider if it was possible and leant forward to kiss Harry again.

“I am serious. About you.” Liam murmured. Harry managed a smile and Liam kissed him again. “You’ll always be my someone special.”

Oh joy, more blushing.

“S-Stop being so cheesy and...” Harry started but _gah_ why couldn’t he just get a damn sentence out? “And get off the floor.”

Liam chuckled and got to his feet; taking a place back next to Harry on the couch and leaning against him until Harry wrapped his arms around Liam’s waist and hugged him tight. Liam rested his head back against Harry’s chest and looked up at him with the world’s goofiest grin on his face.

More blushing.

“So we’re all good now, right?” Liam breathed. Harry nodded and ran a hand through Liam’s hair.

“...yeah.” Harry mumbled. “All good.”

Harry was lying though, because both he and Liam somehow still hadn’t finished and no matter how close they became they never got close enough to the bottom.

But if Harry had been paying attention though, he’d have noticed that his sinking feeling had finally disappeared, but he was too focused on his own blatant stupidity over the past month to be bothered with that. 

~

A few weeks later the boys had another interview, and Liam and Harry had been getting more tangled up amongst each other every day since that afternoon, but they still hadn’t managed to find their pace. Until now. 

Right before they were all called on stage to start recording Liam slipped his hand into Harry’s in front of everyone and squeezed it tight, and when Harry glanced back at Liam with both surprise and fear Liam squeezed it extra hard. Harry didn’t let go, he squeezed back, and when they held their breath together and stepped out into the spotlight Harry was finally content with the way things were between them. He’d found his footing, 

and they’d hit the ground running.


End file.
